If I were to die murdered in cold blood tommorow.. Would u feel sorrow or show love, or would it matter...?


Coz i feel so goddamn dead right now..

And several holes form.....

Uugghh... It hurts..

I think I lost something..

The day when i turn 17...


Last night.. last night.. Before the stroke of midnight.. Thoughts crept thru my mind.. Thoughts about the day when i turn 17.. thoughts about today.. At the stroke of 12.. i got a msg.. it was from u.. It was sweet.. 25 secs into the new day.. my birthday.. followed by a volley of other wishes from others..


CD was rather inspirational.. Lots of philosophical thinking.. Lots of indirect criticism.. Lots of advice.. It was the last lesson for CD.. goodbye then Mdm wong.. U're great.. Really..


Hmm.. my birthday.. it was only to the end of the lesson, when everybody was walking out the door that it was announced.. damn.. Hugs.. would u believe it..?? Hugs.. pats on the back.. shaking of hands.. and such.. Went to FC3 for lunch.. ate with firdaus and falina.. then it was off to the library.. i'm really sorry for that knee jerk.. i really am.. sorry.. =(.. and elsinta.. Ur voice is really too sharp for my ears.. thx for the wishes though.. thx to christine too.. Library.. did maths then bounced of home..


Went to JP.. with the usual window shopping.. and then those same thoughts ran thru my mind again.. why do they keep coming back..?! why do they have to arise again..?! why are these thoughts ever existent..?!
i dunno man.. it's just weird.. it always happens on my birthday.. It always has to happen on my birthday.. turning 17.. wat significance does it hold..?? What have i done throughout the 17 years of my life that make it worthwhile..?? this feeling really sucks.. I feel inferior.. i feel neglected.. i feel useless.. i feel unwanted.. I feel stupid.. It's sick.. the feeling is extremely sick.. i dunno man.. it's just hard to describe.. it's just grossly sick.. it just doesn't feel right.. why does this feeling always have to arise on my day..?? is there something that i have missed..?? Or is it the fact that ppl only rmb u on ur birthday whr u do absolutely nothing.. And not when u do things on a normal day.. I mean.. A birthday.. it's just a normal ol' day.. a tick in the clock.. just a normal day.. it's nothing special.. why isit that ppl only cherish u on ur birthday, pamper u with wishes and presents.. Isit only on my birthday that i am ever appreciated..?? then what of other normal days..?? it just doesn't make sense.. a person is only loved, appreciated, thanked, pampered, etc etc.. only on the day the person is born.. Why is dat so..?? Then wat of the other days that really determines a person's character.. wat of the other days that determine the person's worth.. wat of other days that determines the person's compatibility with u in terms of friendship and such..?? Surely a person can't do all this on a single day, namely his birthday.. then why..?? why is it this way..??


officially 17 at 1108pm..

Finally a day in without those damn stares since my accident..

Honestly the stitch really can't at all be seen from afar coz my glasses somehow "camouflages" it.. And it looks kinda cool too.. in a weird way..
Maths.. the usual.. Structured programming ended early.. still got the time to go polycentre and play badminton.. LoL..!! Went back to SP class.. Took my bag then went to eat together with guolong and james.. Damn.. These two guys are just like me.. tumblers.. can drink so much water.. 3 cans yet still thirsty.. LoL..!! And james.. I like the style i eat my waffle and ice-cream.. LoL..!! So altogether.. there were like 12 cans on the table.. LoL..!! And only 3 ppl sat at that table.. LoL..!! Since i laugh so much.. They gave me this impromptu nickname of Hyena.. Hee hee hee.. LoL..!! Went back to clubhouse.. Realised that the whiteboard has all the initials of those "on" archery club members.. LoL..!!

Went to play dota.. played together with jack.. Waaaahhh... long time never play.. how to win.. karat like wat.. LoL..!! Then it was 530.. LoL..!! Play so long sia.. After that watched a movie, Gundam Wing: Endless waltz.. Watched until 645 like dat... great movie.. Then the gurls came back from their track and field thingy.. look at my stitches.. Talk about how laugh-y i was.. Elsinta was really grossed out.. LoL..!! Went home with shihan.. ANd that's about it..

Toooddaaayyy... tooddaaayyy...
tooodaayy is the day..

today's the day that i take out my irritatingly ticklish bandage.. As well as glimpse at the wound after the stitching.. i didn't get a chance to take a look at it as the surgeon covered it up instantaneously when she was done sewing it up.. So today.. at 11pm.. my bandage goes off.. hee.. happy happy.. hee.

School today was easy.. coz i paid attention.. LoL..!! Finally got into my senses that i must start to study properly.. LoL..!! To the end of the day.. My grp gathered to discuss the IPB2.. Who cares if we have to use only 5 input connectors..?? We thought we had to use 3 chips due to the 5 input change.. but realise that we still can use 2 chips..!!! Hooo...!!! Take that..!! Heeyaahh..!! Just need a little modifying.. Modified then now left with the wire planning which I have to do and then the soldering.. Hee..

Trip home was alone.. (as always unless going home with her).. Got those damn stares again.. u all wait ahh.. tonight i get the bandage off.. i show u staring idiots my stitched up nose.. But then my mum wants it to be covered.. How...?? But i think covering it is kinda cool.. Just need to bandage in a cool way ahh.. But then my gurl wants it to be open.. How..?? Dunno lahh.. see how later tonight..

At boon lay interchange.. I met someone.. The first person who showed me the world of love.. The first person who showed me the hardships that one has to endure when falling in love.. One can never forget your first love.. I met Charlotte.. Or rather.. She saw me.. Coz i think the bandage on the nose is really an attention seeker (damn it).. LoL..!! Our eyes met.. We both smiled.. She pointed to her nose.. And i shooked my head.. LoL..!! then we waved.. Those cute cute waves whr the fingers go like.. hard to explain ahh.. LoL..!! Nice seeing u, gurl after 3 years.. Hee..

Read cheongkeat's blog.. LoL..!! Got a section dedicated to me.. LoL..!! Hee..

A day in public view of my busted nose..

Everyone was practically staring at me.. Some even can say out loud.. "Look.. that guy broke his nose"... I didn't break it.. I just got it busted.. Some strangers even have the courtesy to ask wat happened to my nose and asked me to take better care of myself.. I felt rather stupid with everybody looking at my nose.. Have to say.. it's rather tickly.. hee..

I realise that we involuntarily use our nose muscles.. Simple actions such as laughing.. sneezing (of coz).. yawning.. talking.. and even eating uses the nose muscles.. i can feel it.. coz that's whr my wound is.. hee.. met shimin at fc3.. when she saw me.. can see her face turn red.. don't wory lahh jie jie.. i alright... I'm real fine.. Maths tutorial was kinda frustrating.. since i had completed mine.. i had to help firdaus with his work.. i had to explain to him the concepts of tangent.. and it was frustrating.. coz tangent has its own special angles and i have to draw the graph to show him how.. the problem is.. Showing him.. Aaaarrggghhh....!!! It got me and falina worked up... it's understand-able but hard to explain.. we are not qualified maths teacher y'know.. Finally taufiq voulunteered to help.. *sigh of relief*... Thx dude.. Went over to fc3 with ahmad.. had ice cream on waffle but i had to gobble my desert down.. it was nice.. but i couldn't savour every moment of it.. maybe next time.. so sorry for the delay..

Sending u home was fun.. It was pronounciation galore.. LoL..!! Merepek or merePEK..?? Pegang or pegang..?? LoL..!! confused until become speechless sehh.. and sorry i delayed u by missing the bus again.. U were engrossed with me telling u how i dealt with my wound.. really sorry.. Hee.. Take care kay.. don't be like me.. I'll try my very best to take care of myself.. don't worry so much kay.. hee..

Archery this time was taught by Guolong instead of Derong.. Derong was busy with the land raft.. Have to admit.. Guolong's a better teacher than derong.. But guolong was the one who taught derong wat.. Teacher of student's teacher teach student... Get it..?? Guolong helped me weed out my mistakes and helped find my ever so elusive form back.. Now that i've got my form back.. aaahhhh....!!!! Thanks Guolong...!!! I was shooting 18 metres then.. Thanks again guolong..!!

After lunch.. i went to 30 metres along with ashley.. my original sifu.. And we shot the 30 metre board like nobody's business.. only 2 people to one board mahh.. shiok.. But it was rather scary when we went to retrieve the arrows.. coz the next board to us was the 50m one and the senior seniors were shooting it.. so everytime we went to retrieve.. we had to walk directly along the path of the 3om board.. then hear the whoosh of the fletchers of the flying arrows as they flew and hit the target board.. scary feeling.. it leaves u vulnerable..

After training.. we all played badminton.. I played a match against james and shwajuan.. And i partnered with shimin.. We played and we played.. And then there was a moment that i clashed into shimin.. And her racket got smacked right into my face.. There was no pain.. i fell to the floor.. i felt water dripping across the side of my face.. I thought it was my perspiration but the seniors who rushed to me pushed me to the ground telling me that i was bleeding real bad.. Bleeding..?? but there was no pain.. How can i be bleeding..?? So i asked to them to take a picture of me using my phone.. i had to close my left eye coz the blood was flowing down that way.. James.. attended to my wound.. And shimin started to cry.. don't cry leh shimin.. not ur fault.. Jie jie don't cry pls.. I never cry.. don't cry lehh.. I'm okay.. i'm smiling.. i'm laughing even.. pls don't cry lehh.. And i told ya'll NOT to tell her... But one of u just had to tell her.. see now she nag at me.. I love the nagging i have to admit.. Thanks for nagging sweetie.. I love it..

And off i was to the doctor.. doctor open the bandage then shake his head.. "tsk, tsk.. this wound needs stitching.. i cannot glue-stitch it.. it's too irregular.. u have to go to the hospital for professional help".. And off i was to NUH's A&E.. Mann.. the hospital's cold.. Till my nose was runny.. See.. nose working lerr.. can breathe somemore can have mucus flowing.. LoL...!! I got a tetanus shot which really hurts.. Off to the OT i was.. A plastic surgeon sewed my nose together.. It was ticklish.. the only pain in that operation was when she injected local anesthetic and when she tightened each thread of the stitch.. 4 stitches.. it's considered a lot for a stitch on the nose.. the bandage that she put is rather awkward looking and ticklish.. hee..

I'm sorry that i never took care of myself dear.. I'm sorry.. thank u so so much for caring for me.. Thank u so so much for nagging at me.. I love it..



The Hit








The First Aid








The Aftermath

Nothing much for the earlier part of the day though.. Just normal engineering stuff.. What really got on everybody's nerves is that IPB2 has been strictly controlled and only 5 wires are to be used.. Damn it lahh...!!! Now must reconfigure the whole circuit again... Kanina lahh...

Friday prayers.. Then went back home.. Had to return to school later for that SPSU street soccer competition..

The dejay playing the beats for the tournament was rather "insane".. He played all sorts of songs.. From hindustani songs to the power rangers theme song.. had to admit.. I loved the power ranger theme song.. I kinda miss it.. was singing the whole damn song to jon and kokhow.. LoL..!! Go go Power Rangers..!!

The tournament started.. My team's name.. Small Boys.. When i first heard this name i was like "wat the hell is small boys..?!?!?"... Jasper pangseh us.. So we had to play without a sub AND i had to play the keeper.. Walao ehh yam.. Pangseh last minute.. Well... I dunno whether the tournament went well for us.. A draw.. 2 wins and 2 loses.. Highlights of the tournament for the Small Boys.. A win over Deep Heat and a lose agains NSSL (national street soccer league)..

Deep heat match.. Damn.. it was rough and crazy.. The keeper is the SP's first choice goal-keeper and he was bombarding shots at me like nobody's business.. Have to admit.. he did score.. and twice.. Malu sia.. two goals from the opposite goalkeeper.. Well... we manage to score back.. Then it was 3-3.. Then we scored the winning fourth goal.. Didn't expect to win.. But.. Here's the highlight.. Jovee was running with this guy then they both clattered into the wall.. The DH player got up and shoved jovee.. DAmn.. fight lah.. As i was the nearest.. I pulled the DH guy away.. But.. Jovee came back and kicked him.. walao.. then the DH keper came out running to "attack" jovee.. luckily nicholas, who was on DH team,.. know us abit.. pull back his keeper.. Well.. both fighting players got red-carded.. Damn... Now jovee's out of the whole tournament.. And now that we don't have a sub.. we had to play with 3 men for the next match against the strongest team in our group.. NSSL..

The game against NSSL was rather easy compared to the one with deep heat.. Though we were down to 3 men.. we played like we had 4.. managed to keep them at bay with saves but they ultimately broke me.. 4 goals went pass me.. Diving slides.. Full body slides.. cat-clawing.. U mention it.. I had to perform basically every move in the keeper's book to keep anymore goals from coming in.. I was bruised, scratched, burned..score..? 4-1.. rather good performance.. By then.. the time was 10++..

went home with jovee.. as usual the bus interchange would be packed.. so i walked home from JP.. reached home at about 11++... Damn tired and hurt.. damn... my whole left leg all the way to my butt there's at least a scratch or burn.. oww..

Couldn't at all get a decent 15 mins of sleep... I was too worried.. Nothing's much worse that watching helplessly as the one u love suffer.. *sigh*.. And the amount of indignity that i get.. *sigh*.. Damn was i worried about u..

School.. Engineering.. Wow.. Ocilloscopes and function generators.. Damn complicated.. Though i have to say the machines are cool.. They sure are damn hard to operate.. Took 2 hours just to get the basics right.. But it's rather cool though..

Integrated project board 2 of the Project 1 module was tough.. The Karnaugh maps and Boolean simplification was confusing.. I just stood there over Mr Lim's shoulder watching him commune with my lecturer Mr See Tow on a group's IPB2 design.. They've managed to do it all onto 3 chips.. Wow.. The less chips in the board the better it is.. After the lecturers were done with the other group.. Mr See-Tow attended to mine.. Only left falina and me of my grp.. The others cabut alrdy.. And wow.. He just went to help us simplify the circuit further then we realise that we only need 2 chips..!! WOW..!! 2 chips...!! LaaLaaLaaLaa.. *do the penguin dance*.. Hee.. One obstacle down.. two more to go.. wire planning and the soldering part.. Hee.. IPB2 here i come..

I really don't like being a treasurer.. Going around the class loan-shark-ing really is not my kind of thing.. Somemore my wallets all torn up.. Everytime change money sure something drop out wann. Irritating sia..

Tmr SPSU street soccer competition at 5pm.. *sigh*.. Hope i've not lost my form.. Haven't played competitive soccer in a long long time..

Didn't get to see u today.. But just knowing that u're safely back home is suffice.. And gurl.. I really, seriously forgotten that my day is 9 days from now.. I seriously forget lahh.. walao.. say i aksyen only.. I really dunno ler.. Too caught up with you and my school work to bother about that day.. Really...

*Penguin Dance*.. Hee..

What the hell is Small Boys..?!?!?!
KokHow.. Pls lahh...

Hee...

Normal monday.. i should say.. Mann.. the PEEE quiz was hard i should say.. Had to tikam the last answer.. LoL..!! I bet everyone did that too.. LoL..!!

Lunch.. Normal.. the usual chicken rice.. My dear.. U never finish ur food can eat up all the chicken sehh.. LoL..!! Damn.. I need to get a new wallet.. It's all tattered and torn..

Structured programming.. The loop part was rather mind-boggling.. But compared to the others.. This is much easier.. Heh.. And yijia.. Stop thinking disgusting things.. And yes.. I know.. I'm very cheeky.. Robin and Starfire.. Hee.. Isit wrong for a guy to display his affection for the one he loves..?? LoL..!! hee.

Maths was frustrating.. Even though i had done the majority of the tutorials and only left 3 qns.. They're the hardest of them all.. Firdaus.. Dude.. relax ahh.. I know taufiq's mouth can be a "abit" over but u gotta know how to deal with these kind of things.. Just ignore his criticisms lerr.. Before u came.. I was bullied by him.. But i took it into my stride and now bullying me ain't working.. relax ah bro.. Could feel the high tension.. Mann.. if me and falina weren't there.. A fight could have erupted.. relax ahh bro.. Perkara kecil jer.. Jangan dibesar-besarkan.. bersabar jer..

My dear sweetheart of mine... Don't need to worry unnecessarily lerr.. I'm all fine and dandy.. Hee.. I know u don't like Siti Nurhaliza marrying that Datuk K.. But what can we do..?? Kalau dijodohkan Tuhan.. Begitulah ia akan jadi.. As long as i'm yours and you're mine.. There's nothing to be miserable about hee..

I love u many many too.. Hee..

Wat went wrong fiz..?!

Damnit lahh.. I did wat i was told.. U gave the instructions, i carried 'em out.. U get into trouble.. u go blaming me.. And u had to drag our father into this.. still got the guts to insult me spending time in front of the laptop.. Sialla.. U're lucky i'm not the same person 8 months ago.. If not i could have bust ur ass right there and then.. Bad start to a day..

Archery.. I should say was rather screwed up.. Though it started rather well.. (not the archery aspect of it).. A session missed and my form has hit rock-bottom.. Not to mention my last archery session with a 24 poundage bow was also screwed up.. I was grouped with christine under the tutelage of derong.. And derong stepped on some dog shit.. Shoot 30 meters.. damn frustrating.. damn pissed off.. Never have i zipped so much.. Wat went wrong fiz..?! Rather upset with myself.. Getting increasingly agitated.. Though i didn't really show it.. I didn't want to worry anybody.. Heck i could have thrown a silent tantrum.. I should've punched a wall till my knuckles turn immense red like i used to do when pissed.. But something held me back.. I didn't want u to see me in a moment of rage.. I'm sorry.. I was really upset with myself.. Somehow.. I got my groove on again and my shooting improved.. But it was too late.. By then it was about 1230pm..

I'm sorry if i was too quiet on the bus.. I was really, really upset with myself in archery that i needed time to recurperate.. I'm really sorry.. That baby on the bus was extremely cute right..?? The baby's cheeks were so.. chubby.. geram sehh.. macam nak cubit.. That cheered me up abit.. I'm sorry that i irritatingly did not answer you till u merajok.. Pls don't merajok again kay.. Makes my heart stop and makes me speak in a stutter.. I'm sorry that it took so hard to tell u where i was going.. I'm really sorry.. U know the reason for urself and now the brothers are barking up my ass for the reason of the cancellation.. Why can't unforeseen circumstances be unforeseen circumstances..?!?! Do u guys need more of an explaination in that..?!?! *sigh*.. Went to do my stuff..

My family picked me up against my will and off we were to raffles city.. My mother insistently wanted me to go.. That's the thing of being filial.. Sometimes doing the right thing ain't doing the right thing.. I was really tired, hungry and pissed off and now i have to top it all up with my family's shopping.. with the amount of books in my bag and the feeling of being drained of all energy, walking ard in a crowded shopping centre for 5 hours was killing me.. I was increasingly pissed off.. I was breatheless.. Even though i told my parents the state of exhaustion that i'm in, they insisted on continuing on.. Damn was i really pissed.. To top it all up.. I had to contend with my brother's bitchy mouth.. Mann.. i was angry.. But the innocent faces of my young cousins kept my anger at bay.. Thx u cute lil guys.. I was extremely exhausted.. Going home was another thing.. I had to pay back magrib and isyak that i missed.. By then it was already 1110pm.. Wished u goodnight and proceeded with the prayers.. I was really tired that i collapsed on the prayer mat after finishing 'em.. damn i was tired.. I got up in the middle of the night and plonked myself on my bed.. Damn..

Wat went wrong fiz..?! Why did u have to be pissed off..?! Why did u have to succumb to ur anger again..?!?! The same anger that u once withheld so greatly..?!?! Why did u have to lose ur cool..?!?!
I really don't like being pushed to the very edge.. To calmly deal with the very source of my anger.. To be mocked incessantly.. I really don't like being nice.. Ppl climb over my head.. Ppl take advantage.. It makes me feel weak.. Yet i hold on to The Prophet's virtue -- Brave is the man who controls himself. not the one who demolishes his adversary.. The honour of old are now worthless.. Are these not reasons good enough for me to lose control..?! It was good enough that i held back my anger.. Ain't it ever good enough..?!?!

I'm really sorry for my behaviour earlier yesterday.. I really am.. Now u know the reasons for my behaviour.. I'm really sorry.. Pls forgive me kay.. I'm really sorry.. *sobsob*..

Oww....

I'm getting my groove on with my studies.. Hee..!! Rather happy with myself that my studies in class seems to have improved.. Thx alot Mr See-Tow..!! Hee..!! Must be the changed mindset... Now that some problems and milestones in my life have been accomplished..

After a numb-feeling friday prayers.. I bounced of to my grandmama's.. Miss her.. Go there.. Chit chat.. I wonder how she manages to weave those small, tiny beads into marvellous works.. Bracelets.. Rings.. Necklaces.. Chokers.. Wow..!! Hee.. Ate.. watched tv then went home..

Oww... My left arm hurts.. Sitting with u in the bus was fun.. even though we were rather quiet.. Then i walked with u to JE entertainment centre.. My dear.. I have never been to a cinema before lahh.. How i know that the movie theaters are on the ground floor..?? No need to punch lahh.. Oww.. Pleeaaakkk...!!! And u landed ur punch.. Oww.. Kena the pressure point sia.. Instantaneously can't feel my arm.. The feeling like kena the funny bone like that.. It's like there was no blood flow there.. really hit the pressure point sia.. Oww.. I can't feel my arm.. I think must go into the "cacat ambulance" alrdy.. hee.. Don't cry over it pls.. pls don't cry.. later i also cry.. don't cry pls.. My fault also.. It's just my fault kay.. not urs.. Like i told u.. I'm ur punching bag.. Punch me.. Be it a stress-relieving punch or a painful playful one.. I promised to be ur punching bag (rmb dat poem).. Go ahead punch me.. Punch me.. It'll be fine.. Hopefully *gulp*.. hee..

Love ya..!! Hee..!! Oww..

The tired and hungry Mr Penguin...

The muscle aches have emerged.. I'm now officially a penguin.. haha.. Damn they really hurt.. Met kailin at dover at abt 945.. She overslept and missed her class at 8.. LoL..!! Then she told me abt the archery members celebrating at marina bay.. By the sound of it they had a good time.. But i had a BETTER time.. Hee..

CD was nothing much.. Did my grp's presentation on the last samurai.. I had engrossed the whole class with the movie that when i actually paused the movie to explain a scene.. Everyone went "Hey..!! Don't lahh".. LoL..!! It was funny.. After school.. went to fc3 to have my lunch.. then went to the library together with falina and firdaus.. Helping firdaus with his maths.. Met james.. He was walking like a penguin too.. LoL..! stayed back until abt 3pm.. Sian ahh.. I'm tired.. yet hungry.. And i'm walking like a penguin.. damn.. it hurts..

It's normal to feel that pain, dear.. You're just building muscle.. Then u become much more stronger.. Hee..

I'm your Mr Penguin..

Poly50...!!!

What a wonderful day today...!!! First i passed my structured programming ahh..!!

Poly50 run was indeed great.. There were lots of people.. Honestly.. it was so jam packed that it looked like herds of sheep running ard.. LoL..!! It was tiring.. Not to mention hot.. The sun was belting down on us like a midday sun.. And i screwed up a lap..!! Aaarrrgghhh...!!!! But i managed to correct it on my own... fuuhh... Archery team 1 got 19th place and team 2 got 55th.. Well done everybody.. I was like a mini bulldozer when i barged thru 4 runners who had just passed their lap card and refused to move aside.. Oh well.. I think i elbowed the last guy too hard.. Oh well.. Stand in my way somemore lahh..

Damn.. The muscle aches, pulls, strains are starting to emerge.. especially my right leg.. It totally hurts.. Looks like i'm gonna walk like a penguin tmr.. *sigh*..

I really enjoyed the time we spent together.. Very precious the time was.. The moment we spent can't be described in words.. It's just great..!! I loved it..!! Do it often kay.. Looking forward to the next moment we do spend time like the one we had today.. I really loved it.. Have a good rest and take care kay..


Archery Poly50ers.. U guys rock..!!

France.. France.. ohh france..

Losing the world cup by penalties is the hardest thing to deal with.. Zidane.. what were u thinking..?? That headbutt was really unnecessary.. *sigh*..

Normal long monday.. There was no C++ today.. Watched dave chapelle on youtube.. LoL..!! This guy is great.. whaat..?! Okaayy...!!! LoL..!! Maths was a total bore.. trigonometric identities.. sian ahh... i slept thru it..

Poly50 training.. Thx derong for praising me.. Thx.. A reserve to a first team.. We did nothing much today.. Just getting our passing right.. Didn't even break a sweat.. The strenghtening part was funny.. Yazid u gemok lah u.. LoL..!! Got tummy sia.. LoL..!!

Yazid, El, James, Derong and shimin.. I'm wicked joker i know.. LoL..!! I'll make blood flow to ur head with laughter and make u go wanting to pinch or hit me.. I'm a joker i know.. LoL..!!

I miss u many many...

Archery Poly50ers.. Formal..

Archery Poly50ers.. Informal..

This coming wednesday is the day guys.. Let's do it.. Jia you..!! Run till u can't feel ur butts..!! Let's win this.. Or in my terms.. Let's get this shit over with... Hooorraaaahhh...!!!

The longest day that i've ever spent in SP (excluding the time spent in camp)..

Normal start to a friday.. Everyone was busy trying to finish their project 1... Till Mr Seetow postponed it to monday.. LED and Zener Diodes.. Easy but we have to pay attention to strict detail..

Friday prayers.. Normal.. The bus was punctual.. When i was in the train from buona vista to dover.. A fight broke out in the train.. Between an old man and a young adult bout 27 years of age.. Vulgarities were spewed everywhere.. Shouts here and there.. Damn.. It really was unnecessary.. Many passengers crowded around and tried to separate the two.. From my point of view.. It's the old man's fault.. really.. coz i was looking in the direction of the two wen the old man started nudging and saying something to the young dude.. Damnit old man.. your reason for the fight is totally undefined.. what? u don't like the behaviours of young singaporeans these days..?? Fuck u old man.. U don't like the behaviour of certain young singaporeans that doesn't mean u have to go lambasting every single young singaporean that u come across.. I mean.. the young dude was only having a harmless conversation on his phone and u had to go starting a fight over something another person did.. C'mon old man.. surely u've got the maturity to think in such a way right..?? Young dude.. Calm down dude.. That old man may have something wrong up here.. *taps index finger on temple*.. Damn..

Met dzaki at fc3.. talked.. then went to the library.. i was burning time till poly50 training at 5.. Revised wat i learnt today.. Dzaki started to draw stuff.. I asked him wat it was and he said that it was CADD.. woah.. i ain't into some comfusing stuff.. Then dzaki looked at my engineering stuff with all those formulas, workings, graphs and said.. Now That's confusing stuff.. Then we laughed at each other.. Hey.. He's an architect and i'm an engineer.. LoL..!!

Poly50 started late coz kangwei was M.I.A.. so we watched tokyo drift (pirated version)on christine's laptop.. damn.. great show.. the drift king is awesome.. really.. u guys gotta watch it.. But as u know.. pirated.. low quality.. not to mention jamming..

Poly50 training started at about 7pm.. the latest group to start.. Mann..it was a total runner's nightmare.. Sprinting 3+km for the boys really is killing.. we ran till the dead of night.. It really was tiring.. me and derong ran extras.. coz derong had to get the running laps right and i had to make the correction.. wahh.. really damn tiring.. It ended really late.. about 9+ like dat..

Dear.. u ran well today.. take care kay.. I know u're really tired.. rest those legs.. Push me harder.. so that it'll hurt both physically and emotionally when i part with you..
waaahhhh.... i miss u alrdy..

Les Bleus..!! Les Bleus..!! Les Bleus..!! Les Bleus..!! Les Bleus..!! Les Bleus..!! Les Bleus..!! Les Bleus..!!


The French are thru.. Portugal can come kiss my ass.. Portugal is a team of backstabbers and divers.. One example.. Cristiano "fucker" Ronaldo.. dive dive dive.. like theatre like that.. somemore got that bugger helder postiga also diving.. nuno valente dived.. figo dived.. Aiya.. basically the whole team dived lahh.. Bunch of fucking divers.. Deserve to lose.. Where's the joga bonito in diving..?!?! Somemore ronaldo is a player featured in joga bonito yet doesn't seem to show it's honour.. Bloody fucker.. Eric cantona should come and give ronaldo a tongue-lashing or better.. One of his kungfu kicks. LoL..!! But i really pity miguel.. that injury really took him out of the game.. He's face was of pure frustration and pain.. Pity.. Get well soon.. One of my favourite right backs..

Quite a nice day today.. the weather's all nice and cool.. School today was a bore... 1 and a half hours only.. So much for gabra-ing the presentation when there was no time for my group today.. Oh well.. Very cool day today.. very nice.. I wished everyday was like this.. The rain in a comforting sheen.. Not a downpour.. not a drizzle.. just right.. On the way home i glanced at the dover mrt busstop and saw a particular bus.. 105.. suddenly i thought about u.. And started to smile.. I suddenly missed her.. Out of nowhere mann.. It was peculiar.. I suddenly longed for her company even though i was with her last evening.. Must be the way we parted.. sudden, abrupt, painful and heartaching.. LoL..!! Oh well..


I have to finish my project 1.. i've done mistakes.. dunno whether seetow would accept it or i have to redo it again.. Aiya.. nvm lahh.. at least it's done..


Waahh.. i can finally feel my ass.. but surprisingly.. yesterday i ran much more than last week but my body doesn't to be aching terribly like last week.. Tmr's the last training.. Actually i quite surprised that i made it into the 1st team.. Coz i was initially a reserve.. Haaaa... Last training.. must get our card passing right.. Must also get the lap counter part right.. must go to the person with hands cupped then let them drop the card into our hands.. so they won't complain later.. LoL..!!

Aaarrrggghhhh...!!! I can't feel my butt after poly50 training...!!

Waaahh... Poly50 training very complicated sia.. The "strategy" was rather funny.. I was giggling and smiling throughout.. Leonard or should i call u rudolph..?? Why ur nose so red..?? Must be the stretching that u do.. Putting ur nose in between ur shoes.. LoL..! I think that red nose really is affecting u.. U suddenly went dancing.. "tepi, tepi, depan, blakang and so on and so forth.." LoL..!! Funny sia.. Then u talk about female body-builders.. Then u literally talk cock.. I say got car coming.. U say "cock car".. Haiyo..!! LoL..!! wat's gotten into u..?? LoL..!! Yazid, kangwei and minghui were enjoying themselves with my jokes of you.. LoL..!! Never have i seen yazid laugh so teruk.. LoL..!! Oh well..

I really shouldn't have eaten KFC right before the run.. I really shouldn't have.. I was always feeling the need to shit.. But it never really did wanna come out.. After the "warm-up" run.. i was feeling vomit-ty.. So i went to the toilet.. I just sat there.. with the fan blowing into my face.. With neither shit nor vomit coming out.. LoL..!! Sorry to keep u guys waiting.. LoL..!! After that the actual poly50 relay thing was really tiring i have to say.. chiong-ing all the way.. *huff-puff*.. Sorry my gurl if i was too rough on your fingers when getting the lap cards.. sorry.. sorry.. Then the last lap teruk sia.. There was no one at changing zone 1.. SO i had to run an extra 200m.. then they stopped the race..!! waaahhh... I was the last runner.. And i ran a whole 200m more than u guys.. waaahhh... i can't feel my ass... I'm so tired..

Sorry if i hurt ur fingers.. truly sorry.. waahhh.. u really strong ehh.. can push me so far.. knocked the wind out of me when i turned.. really.. waahh.. pain ahh.. waahhh.. heartache ahh.. *clutches chest*.. LoL..!!

Finally...!! A testimonial that i didn't ask for..!! Thx Jiia..!!

School was kinda boring.. Back to engineering stuff.. Cannot retake the tests coz they only constituent 5% of the total.. *sigh*.. Oh well... Back to breadboarding.. Breadboarding must have been wiped totally from my mind coz i made a damn silly mistake.. I overloaded the circuit board.. And guess wat.. It blew up..!! LoL..!! I was increasing the voltage and not realising that the circuit was smoking.. Luckily lin kaung saw the smoke emitting and quickly stopped me.. But it was too late, LoL..!! Snap, crackle, pop.. Went the circuit.. LoL..!! Smoke was everywhere.. LoL..!! It really was funny.. coz my reaction to it was.. "why the hell is smoke coming out from my circuit..?!?!".. Then i quickly turned the voltage supply off.. LoL..!! It was funny..!!

Telling me that u miss me out of the blue was really heart tugging.. I miss u too... Counting the moments till u appear before my eyes.. I just can't wait..!!

Damn..

My academic life is toppling.. Wat went wrong..?? I studied so hard.. yet the results don't show.. It must have been my constant mistake of studying too hard then mixing up all the techniques, methods, formulas etc, etc.. I have to retake it again.. Just ain't right.. Scoring 3 Cs ain't nice... Wat went wrong..?? *sigh*.. Hearing my marks in the morning.. waahh.. heartache ahh.. No mood to eat ahh.. Still haven't got back my structured programming marks yet.. Though they only makes 5% each of the final score.. still it ain't enough.. I gotta retake it.. 2nd term is too short.. Only 7 weeks.. *sigh*..

Take care people.. *sigh*.. I worry to much.. Well.. it's better than not worring at all..

Les Bleus..!! Ooooohhhhh...!!!!! Les Bleus..!! Les Bleus Are Through..!!!!

Brazil.. tsk tsk.. How arrogant can ur team be..?!?! Perreira.. U've got it all wrong.. How does putting ronaldinho as an upfront striker gonna work when the French midfield is so compact that he can never get the ball..?? Your players are short.. The french are tall.. How does playing long balls work, perreira..?!?! Why didn't u want to clamp Zidane down..?!?! He's the playmaker of the french legion... Now he has run amok over your players and leave them in his wake.. tsk tsk.. Perreira.. Perreira.. Wat happened Perreira..?? Brazilian samba, fancy soccer can never withstand the French techical flair.. Where was roberto carlos when Henry scored the winning goal..?? Probably watching in awe and fear as the french legion literally went aerial for the ball.. And Henry.. God..!! U were aiming for dida's head weren't you..? LoL..!! Spectacular goal..

And sorry to my guys out there who support brazil.. Esp roy and ros.. I can't help it.. Brazil are out.. Now whenever i see those commercials whr s'poreans say that brazil are gonna take home the cup.. Oh well.. All i can say is.. " Brazil..??! Most definitely Brazil..?! Ahh.. Crap..!! Brazil win the cup..?!?! Ahh.. kiss my ass..!!" Oops.. Went to far there.. Sorry roy.. I know u have their blood.. I know u are never gonna watch the world cup again (as if).. But.. The statistics show.. Brazil has never beaten france in the world cup.. Tsk tsk.. Roy, roy.. LoL..!! Brazil..!! Kalah.. kalah.. kalah.. kalah..!! Buat aku ketawa...!! Tengok Brazil Keluar..!! Damn.. I'm bad..

Whr's england..?? No whr in the last four.. *wicked laughter*.. Aye.. I'm damn bad.. Sorry lahh... I can't help it..

And yeah.. Guys.. Whenever i feel damn embarrased.. My face would turn red and i'll have a weird smile on my face.. And.. Tears would actually well-up in my eyes.. They actually do..

My sweetest angel.. Pls tell them you're okay.. I know i'm not sweet.. I know i'm very sensitive.. I know *sniff*.. *waaaahhh*...

Germany..!! Germany..!! Germany..!! The hosts are thru..!!

It really was a great match, really... Argentina got the most possession.. 65%-70% i presume.. They scored first.. and germany equalised.. Then it was down to penalties.. which lehmann saved twice.. After that there was a even a fight.. Guess argentina didn't really like going out of the tournament in such a "harsh" way.. Oh well.. They're out.. And Germany are thru..

Only had 4 hours of sleep.. And it really, really didn't suffice.. My whole body aches.. My legs are throbbing, back is hurting, calfs are near-cramping.. But.. I've stopped farting.. LoL..!! Archery training.. Using a 24 poundage bow really ain't easy.. Not only the draw.. But also the retrieving of arrows from the board.. Retrieving a 24 pound shot arrow from a soft board is like drawing a 22 pound shot arrow from a hard board.. Just imagine if me and shravan were to shoot a hardboard and the amount of effort it'll take to pull the arrow out..

Walking with you was great.. I find it funny for u to not understand my body language when we were confronted with the "water spouts".. LoL..!! to my right.. to my right.. U don't wanna get wet do u..?? LoL..!! Sitting next to you was also great.. Felt very relaxed.. though there was a sleeping buddy leaning his whole weight on me and i was preventing myself from giving in to the weight and leaning against u instead.. LoL..!! It was nice to see ur sweet smile when i waved my final goodbye for the day to you at mac.. U just smiled.. U were trying to hide me from them weren't you..? LoL..!! Just that sweet smile would do.. Melts me inside.. I wanna walk with you again..!!

Am I..?? Of course i am.. LoL..!!

Last night was great..

Not the jump for joy kind of great.. But one of those smile in silent happiness kind of great moments..


One of my juniors had returned from his trip to indonesia for advanced religious studies.. And he had to tell everybody present about his experience there.. While he was going thru the brief intro.. Thanking god and everything.. Past memories crept back into my mind.. Past memories of when i went there all alone.. Only in the company of my peers.. Back then i was only 11.. So my peers were 13-15.. Very young age.. It was a great, fun yet life-changing experience.. I sat my the back togther with my pals who went there with me, The "Veterans", as we heard his story..


Basically.. Our main objective was to advance our religious studies.. So there we were.. A small bunch in a village.. for about 1 month.. Back then it was during the november-december school holidays.. back then.. it was the fasting month.. I remember the hours of study that we had to do.. After sahur.. straight on to subuh.. Then straight on to studying all the way to zuhur.. Then study again all the way to asar.. The only free time we had was the time period between asar and maghrib.. And how we made use of the precious time.. We played soccer.. we went swimming in rivers.. We chased chickens back into their coops.. we hunted snakes.. we climbed trees.. we went sheep herding.. we went fishing in the small stream by the back of the canteen.. The canteen is just basically a small house with only 3 tables and 6 benches in it.. tell u.. it's really small.. It's like a toilet in GESS.. really small.. Yet the food that they gave at the break of fast after maghrib prayers were all delectable.. Maybe it's the fasting.. maybe it's the food.. After we had our fill.. Back to studying again.. Until isyak.. Then study again.. All the way to about 11pm s'pore time.. After that we were given a choice.. To sleep.. To continue studying with the villagers.. Or go help out with the patrolling of the perimeter of the village.. Me..?? I chose the last one.. It's really fun u know.. We walked in the soft moonlight.. We saw many things.. Things and "things".. I didn't know that there was actually a small graveyard at the back of our lodging..!! But wat actually was fun.. was to sit by a bench all alone at the end of the path leading to our lodgings.. there i sat.. all alone and watched the stars.. The stars were magnificent..!! It really is nice.. On several occasions.. U can even see shooting stars..!! How cool..!! At first my peers didn't believe me till i asked them to sit and watch the sky.. And when a star fell out of the sky.. they were like "Sialla..!! Kau nampak tak..?!?!".. Gosh i really miss those carefree times..


Well back to my junior.. we was lucky.. He had a whole guest house to himself..!! Unlike my cohort.. we had to share a half of a house that's roughly the size of a flat.. That was crawling with all sorts of bugs.. The mosque was right next to our lodging.. So we prefered sleeping in the mosque than sleeping in our "flat".. Then my junior also told us that he had a choice of food.. The "veteran's" spokeperson taufiq jokingly said.. "Celaka..!! Makanan pun boleh choose..!!" We had to eat watever the cook provided us.. We were never fussy.. So my junior went on.. He said that when he asked for chicken.. he got chicken.. when he asked for beef.. he got it.. So taufiq piped in.. "So if u ask for katak (frog)..??".. Everybody went laughing.. Oh well.. It was fun going to indonesia.. Looking forward to go there in future.. if time and God permits it.. I miss the carefree folks there..


Wah piang ehh..!! Poly50 training was really tiring i have to say.. Managed to overtake derong though.. He overtook me when i stopped to let a car pass by.. Oh well.. Just training mahh.. I really shouldn't have played soccer b4 that.. Damn tired sia.. I was down with flatulence.. My stomach got so much gas.. I kept on farting and burping.. Didn't know how i still kept on running.. After the run.. i isolated" myself from everybody in fear of my letting out of gas having a stench.. LoL..!! Yeah leonard.. It must be the bananas..


Rest well to y'all who went for poly50 today... Tmr still got archery training.. God.. wat was i thinking..? It was as if i was possessed or something.. I can't believe I did that hand-to-mouth-to-person sort of wave.. Wat was i thinking..?? Gosh.. Damn malu sia.. Aiya.. Wat has been done has been done... Just emotions running wild in my head and i couldn't help but to do it.. Oh well.. Malu sia..


Thx yijia.. and yeah.. finally.. LoL..!! Minghui.. Does my face look like a joke to you..?!?! Why do ppl keep on smiling and giggling and laughing whenever they see me in a "mood"..?? Rest well everyone..!! *Flying kiss*..