Saturday morning..

couldn't stand the cold so got up and got out.. GL was back with the others.. chinyan as usual was playing songs from her phone.. then chinyan took shimin's phone and started playing songs from it.. then there was this particular song.. the theme song of a familiar old chinese cartoon of a turtle.. and i guess shimin was kinda high.. coz she started singing and dancing to the song.. and i took a video of her doing so.. LoL..!! Damn funny lorr..!!

so off we were to the training.. looking forward to spending time with esther.. and ever looking forward to shooting without fasting and getting out of the fasting form.. got a shock as the two TCs told to move the boards further up.. all the 10m were to be put at 18m, the 18m ones to 30m and the 30m ones to 50m.. i was damn shocked lorr.. i was like "18m..?!?! but they're only halfyears..!!" as i was directing the halfyears to set up the field.. instructions were constantly hand signalled and shouted with authority by GL to me.. guess GL was sure serious about moving the boards up and raising our standards..

well.. since it was 18m and esther has never shot that distance before.. we had trouble trying to find a sight for her.. wilson's sight was easy to find.. so as wilson shot.. i went to shoot my forte 18m.. and came back to watch and correct esther's performance.. she improved, as usual.. and for a drastic change from 10m to 18m.. it's really a great improvement.. so esther.. i'm sure u're gonna read this.. u're doing just fine... for a female archer u really have improved alot.. so cheer up.. though the bowstring kept hitting ur arm... hehehehe...

Minghui was rather in a dilemma.. His assigned bow is the training bow that he previously shared with nick.. but it's now an assigned bow and he has all the authority over it and can choose not to lend anyone his bow.. But.. nick doesn't know that that's Minghui's bow.. so minghui was sharing it with him.. so.. me and ryan talked to minghui about his assigned bow and that should anything happen to the bow.. it's his responsibility.. but then minghui was rather afraid of nick.. tsk tsk.. pity.. wat's there to be afraid of that all-talk wuss..?? he just acts ahbeng and then makes himself look like an idiot when he fails to prove himself.. wait.. he is an idiot.. after some moral support from me, ryan and "his" rachel.. LoL..!! he finally gained the courage to take his bow away from nick.. well done my friend..

Me, rachel and esther were carrying out our "observations".. It was real funny.. And esther was like always giggling and smiling to herself at that braggard.. Then me and rachel asked her wat she was giggling about she was like "funny ahh.. he go and brag again.. like he so good like that.. ahahahahhaha".. then we all laughed.. It was nice of munweng to teach me how to roll that flower from the ferrero rocher foil.. Thx dude.. Leonard was always giving that sick, pervertic face of his and he was constantly looking at esther until like she wanted me to stand to her right when she shoots so that she won't see his face..

As usual.. lunch with the gang.. not before esther was like asking me whether she should eat with leonard and the lefties when they invited her coz she's like integrating with my gang and she wants to eat with us and not them.. but the only answer i can give was "up to u".. coz leonard and nick were both looking at me as esther talked to me.. i mean if i were to ask her not to eat with them and they see me tell her that.. definitely the already bad blood would boil over.. so that's wat i could only say.. rather upset that they still pestered her to eat with them even though she declined them before she approached me for an answer.. so she ate with them all to reluctantly.. went to FC5 with my peeps but i was too pissed off with my mum who asked me to come home early.. it's like.. walao... i'm getting out of my fasting form and she wants me to cut training short.. walao.. came back to the field.. shot 2 ends then packed up.. not before i talked with esther who was consistently complaining about her lunch with them.. she don't like.. nvm.. next training come eat with us.. don't eat with them.. they're just a bunch of noisy clowns who fail to live up to their brags.. next time eat with me.. then can laugh laugh together.. ahahahhaahahaha...

Friday..

Went to the chalet.. together with ryan and minghui.. dover all the way to pasir ris.. went there to find out that the chalet hasn't even been opened yet.. Derong and the others who set off earlier hadn't even arrived.. So there we were.. with rachel, connie, munweng, bernice, anthony, szeyuan, sam and woei perng.. it was about half an hour later then did they ever came.. so the first thing i ever did was to plug in the xbox and then took out DOA3 to play.. As usual.. Owned every single person that played.. LoL..!! I'm bad.. I'm good.. So i finally gave my controller to ethan.. let 'em play lerr.. cannot hog the game too much.. went to eat the catered food.. damn nice.. i should say.. but my stomach was never in a mood to eat in such a heavy manner.. as usual on chalets.. somehow my body just switches on its survival instincts.. Ryan, connie, minghui and rachel went home.. Sian tiaw.. left me the only year 1 guy there, out of the four year 1s there.. Kailin, me, christine and kailin's hot friend.. hehehehe..

Then the party started.. Sing song.. blow candle.. take photos.. eating galore for everyone i guess... cakes and alcohol all around.. the cake was laced with tiramisu so i didn't get a slice of it.. Then it was "prize-giving".. The presents esp the ones given by munweng were "unique".. LoL..!! Sex t-shirt for derong and a small, cute plush pig named ashley for shwajuan.. LoL..!! Then shimin gave shwajuan her present.. the long speculated skirt.. at least shwajuan's sporting enough to put it on for shimin and chinyan to see.. Got to applaude her.. she has never worn a skirt to SP before... and to wear it on her day for her "sisters" was a honourable thing to do.. well.. i didn't get to see her in it though coz everyone was crowding the toilet entrance to see her.. hahahhahahahaha.. well.. the b'day kids went to buy alcohol.. 18 mahh.. legal age.. hehehehehehe.. as for me.. i was stuck playing ninja gaiden.. with james.. kailin and her hot friend in the chalet.. then until about 1142.. i got bored.. so decided to take a walk..

Saturday..

My walked started rather unexpectedly.. as usual.. thoughts ran thru my mind as i walked thru the dark park.. damn dark lorr.. my heightened senses were put up to the max.. given that i was in the "witching hour".. i sure didn't want to see any "other" things.. neither was i in the mood to see one.. walked.. thought.. watched ppl do night-fishing.. walked again.. there were times i have to admit that the places i walked were damn dark.. and i was rather getting scared.. but the urge to carry on walking pushed me ever forward.. as my ears were pricked up ready to hear any change in the surroundings.. the most evident tell-tale of a presence of a "thing" besides the ominous feeling is that u hear no bugs chirping their night songs and there's nothing except for pure deafening silence.. If the bugs ain't making noise.. something sure is damn wrong.. and u'd better get the hell out outta there.. so.. thankfully all thru the walk there were no situations like these.. the park sure was damn empty.. weeknight mah.. but the occasional hanky-panky couple was a sigh of relief for me to know that i'm not alone in the darkness.. i sure walked damn far i guess.. till there was a moment were i found myself in a "situation".. the bugsongs were getting less audible and the track was getting as creepy as ever.. hell.. the trees were so low.. i could just sit on them boughs.. till i came to this particular place.. where the footpath joins with the bicycle path.. it was damn ominous.. and i couldn't hear any bugs at all.. i knew there was something there.. by the junction.. i was like "Shit man.. fiz.. it's time to turn back.. U know there's something there fiz.. C'mon fiz.. turn back man.. don't be a fool.. shit man just turn back.. turn back fiz.. c'mon fiz.. just turn back.. ".. so i trudged a few nervous steps forward and swung myself around.. just as i swung myself around.. by the corner of my eyes.. unintentionally i saw it.. it was just there.. standing.. standing.. a white figure.. couldn't make it's facial features as it was just a split second which i saw it.. but i knew that watever that thing was.. i was leaving its place and that it was not following me.. didn't dare look back.. u never should.. so.. my pace quickened to a slight jog.. till i could hear the chirps of them crickets.. how relieved i was to hear 'em... didn't dare look back still.. so i walked back to the chalet as fast as i could.. i think i was really walking at a faster pace than before coz before i knew it.. i was already nearing the chalet.. chanced upon james and kailin.. they weren't doing any hanky-panky if u guys wanna know.. there were just sitting on a bench chit chatting.. i didn't see them at first.. was too preoccupied with the fear that the thing could be following me.. until kailin snapped me out of my shock.. i didn't respond to her.. i just looked back.. looked back at them.. then continued walking and soon joined up with GL and the others.. Mann.. i really was spooked..

well.. we went to cheers.. bought some drinks.. sat down back at the chalet and ate our snacks.. talked cock.. then i went inside to play games as the others went to mcdonald's to accompany shwajuan there... played until i grew bored of it.. lay down to try to sleep.. couldn't.. it was too cold and the thoughts that i thought about previously were running thru my mind.. so.. i just lay down there.. with eyes closed.. but never got the glimpse of sleep..

(continued in next entry)

Fasting month ended on monday evening.. was a rather emotional moment for me.. a holy month gone.. will i live to see the next..??

It wasn't right on tuesday.. without the early morning sahur.. heck i even woke up for it to realise that fasting has alrdy ended.. Solat aidilfitri.. then it was off to get my extended family then were off on our journey to many houses.. the first house wasn't that bad.. not much ppl there yet.. so my whole family could squeeze in... Ate.. it felt rather strange to be eating in the midday.. given one month of abstaining from food.. so we went all across singapore.. North, south, east and west.. To a total of 5 houses.. all the "high-ranked" grandaunts and granduncles.. For their "high-rank".. many ppl were at their homes so the money also rolled in.. didn't have interest to count my takings though.. I just want money for me to buy that bowset.. Didn't take that much photos too.. not ever in the mood to camwhore around.. I didn't have much fun like i predicted.. ysohappy tried to persuade me to have fun.. so i say.. ymusthavefun..?? well.. she forced me to do this silly write-fun-on-paper-keep-in-ur-wallet thingy.. which i never did do.. came home around 1am++.. chatted with her.. told her her method didn't work.. nag at me.. until i scratched the word FUN on my palm then showed her the pic.. then dunno how our conversation ended up with a drawing of an animal.. which i supposedly thought was a pig.. but then esther say looked like a bear.. but then she say she wanted it to be a cat.. so i called it.. the FUNpig/bear/cat..

wednesday.. didn't actually have class but came to school either around 1pm.. had night shooting later.. so went to FC3 for the much missed chicken talk.. ate.. went back to club.. slept.. as usual.. shocked shimin when she saw my half body under the table.. she screamed so loud i jolted out of my sleep even with music blasting thru my earphones.. then i shocked sam and bernice too.. coz they were sitting facing the door.. then i just got up from my sleep under the table.. then they just stared at me like they've seen a ghost.. LoL..!! The look on their faces.. gaping mouth and shocked expressions.. funny.. sam-"ehh sialla.. wher u pop out from.. i'm like sitting in front of the door and i don't see the door opening".. derong - "aiya.. he sleeping under the table lerr.." then i went down to FC3 again.. to eat.. again.. ate 2 cheese pratas.. then went back up. clement came back from his debate session.. hmm.. he got into the finals.. then he invited me to join him to eat.. again.. i went down to fc3 to eat.. this time at waffleton.. so i really ate a lot on wednesday.. It was raining heavily and i doubt that we had night shooting.. but the euphoria of being finally allowed to shoot at night persisted.. so we waited.. until it was to a slight drizzle.. so we shot.. but after four ends.. we just gave up.. coz the retrieving was really really troublesome..

thursday.. GEMs class was different.. flew paper planes.. fun.. and enriching as well.. IDEAs was slack too.. but taufiq made falina cry and she ran off.. and me, hakim and firdaus had trouble finding her.. we couldn't find her.. she was fast.. well.. she then later msged me that she needed time alone.. oh well.. girls are really that sensitive i see.. slept at clubhouse as usual.. firdaus came back from make-up CADD class which i didn't attend.. so we sat at the common room chatting while waiting for the thunderstorm to subside.. then we saw this tennis couple went into their clubhouse then making out with each other...!! How disgraceful.. and right in front of the eyes of ppl.. God..!! where's the shame..?!

Helped esther with her crs until about 2am.. did mine in the process as well.. rather hard i should say.. esther's english is good but she totally denies it... I've read worst.. hehehe.. who's the one being negative here..?? there's a chalet later.. derong, shwajuan and elsinta's birthday bash i presume.. gonna overnight then next morning straight go archery training... informal olympic IKO postponed again.. LoL..!! Got time to train..

Weekend writeout..

Slacky and boring week but a fun weekend to top it up..

Saturday's training.. was supposed to be an individual knockout compy (IKO).. but clement last minute postponed.. LoL..!! really last minute lorr.. At around 1245am he MSN-ed me that he wanted to have it postponed.. So it's just normal training.. Christine didn't come down for training though... the night before she took part in the wild on wheels competition which ended at around 11pm so guess she really was tired.. So.. i took charge of teaching esther.. As the night before, esther, jasper and i had a rather funny conversation on MSN it somehow spilled over and both esther and i were like continuing the conversation during training.. So we were always laughing about.. Well.. her form seems to have improved.. no more hunched shoulders.. but now it's just a matter of sight coz she's using a new training bow.. So she really is making some great improvement.. proud of her.. and proud of myself i should say.. normal female archers take a long time.. maybe becoz champion teaching her... ahahhahaahahha... We trained together till about noon when the peeps went to have their lunch at FC7.. yes.. in archery.. there's a FC7.. Esther wanted me to join her.. so tagged along.. there.. we talked cock and made jokes for about an hour as james was taking a nap and we were accompanying kailin.. talked about this.. talked about that.. Guess esther's moving into our clique now.. that'll be great.. hehehheheheheh.. shooting for me was rather sucky.. as usual during the fasting month.. and the 24lbs really gives a workout.. trained until about 330pm.. some of my peeps wanted to go out to buy the birthday gifts of the upcoming birthdays of shwajuan, derong and leonard.. so i slept all alone in the clubhouse with the megafan blowing into my face.. waaahhh.. damn tired.. then it was time to go home at about 430++.. rather early as shwajuan said.. the earliest that we have ever returned home for a saturday training... 2 more days till fasting ends..

Sunday..

came rather early.. was with GL and shwajuan.. the only ones to turned up early.. but we had a dilemma.. the club's dungeon key wasn't working.. and we were like struggling to turn the key in the lock.. then came weiyi and BK.. they tried their luck but to no avail.. GL was desperate to get a board.. LoL..!! He even used the mallet to knock the padlock.. but wat the hell.. it didn't work.. Desperate times lead to desperate measure.. LoL..!! And we were getting desperate.. the other dungeon key with james was only to arrived around 11++.. so we had no choice but to call in the Spec Ops.. LoL..!! And guess who were the Spec Ops.. Me and Weiyi..!! LoL..!! The smallest guys to climb into the dungeon via another gate.. LoL..!! So we struggled to get a stand and board out.. LoL..!! Damn fun sia... Spec Ops.. LoL..!! It was really funny.. well.. got a stand and board out.. Plonked it at 30m and we went shooting.. yeah.. i've been encouraged to up to 30m.. soon enough james came down and opened the dungeon.. we took up another board and plonked it at 18m.. so i cabut there.. 18m.. my forte.. shot... but as usual..still sucky for my standards.. then it rained.. so took down the boards.. and i slept by the stairs.. LoL..!! Dunno why i always sleeping during training nowadays.. must be the fasting... tiring sia.. wel.. today's my last training in fasting conditions for this year.. went to polycentre.. played badminton.. then went home.. haaaaaahhhhhh.....

fasting month ending..
time to gain weight..
preparation of festivities..
money come rolling into my pockets..

Archery Spec Ops..
Mission Accomplished..

New style..?? hehhehehehehe...

Life's a bore and full of slacking and growling stomachs for me.. the fasting month is nearing its end.. Sad for a holy month to go.. But ever willing to gain weight.. I've lost a whole lot of body mass.. And of course.. the ever more willing to get money in my wallet.. It's damn dry.. i don't get any pocket money during fasting month.. Everything uses my savings.. sian.. *sigh*

I've finally come to the conclusion that i've had enough of this spiky hairdo.. Really irritating.. The styling is very tiring and irritating.. i hate to get globs of uneven wax in my hair.. So i've finally decided to grow my hair long.. Hehhehehehehehehe.. dunno wat made me come to this conclusion.. i'm just pure lazy.. ahahhahahaha.. now i wear a cap to school in which i have never worn in say.. 5 years..?? yeah.. i've never won a cap for a long period of time for 5 years.. just using it to cover my head as i wait patiently for my hair to grow to the desired length.. Wonder how i'd look like.. silly i should say.. reminds me of the time when i shaved my head bald one year back.. it was a funny sight everytime i looked into the mirror.. Maybe i've got the inspiration to grow long hair from jasper, whose long golden hair is now like sun wu kong's head, jovee.. for his cool, slick and lazy hairdo, and probably bernice.. I kinda like the tail that she has.. hahahahahhahahahaha.... well.. growing long hair.. funny..

past few days have been a total bore for me.. The clubhouse was painted on tuesday.. so the archers had to "camp" outside in the corner room for the day.. Now that they've finish painting.. the club stinks of paint and is damn cramped due to the furniture being moved around.. now it looks like a rabbit hole.. so many corners to "hide".. all the better for me to sleep..

On wednesday.. maths class was cancelled.. the bloody room door lock malfunctioned.. my tutor scanned her card.. the lights in the classroom turned on.. but the door didn't unlock.. how funny.. even the "operational manager" could not open the door with the master key.. so it was a waste of time coming to school.. slack at the clubhouse.. airing the club with that mega fan.. Met up with jovee and jasper at the soccer court.. Jovee's SMA school was having a street soccer tournament.. Since i had nothing to do.. spend time with my brothers.. while waiting for the tournament to start.. played some soccer.. hehehehehe.. long time... long time.. have to admit it.. i've lost my touch.. yet the feeling was great touching the ball and even better when scoring goals.. hehehehhehehehe.. i really miss soccer.. i really do.. ='(.. But archery has filled in the void that soccer has left behind.. my love is now for archery.. but the passion of soccer still runs in me.. Jovee's team didn't win though.. kena thrashed.. But hey.. quality time with some of my brothers.. Elsinta was at the club after that.. and when she caught me playing DTX.. she went crazy..!! LoL..!! She wanted to play it as well.. so i allowed her to play.. it was hilarious.. her head bobs whenever she press the keys...Really funny..

thursday was almost the same... Didn't have IDEAs so I only had GEMs.. 8-10am.. the rest of the time was again spent at the club.. slept hugging my laptop... i woke up to find clement in the next armchair.. hugging the guitar.. LoL..!! Funny sight.. to see 2 champions sleeping and hugging their stuff.. talk about insecurity..!! LoL...!!!

Ahh well.. Looks like it speaks for itself.. I'm a different man now.. again.. *sigh*

Assigned bow today..!!! Ahahahahaha....!!!!

A 24lbs bow though.. heheheh.. any bow would do well for me.. Got to choose my assigned arrows though.. Easton Jazz with blue fletches and nocks.. Blue quiver and blue magnetic stand.. So.. all's blue for me.. rather contrasting to the colours of red and black of my other accessories.. hehehehhe... Nvm.. when i get my C-class bow.. everything's gonna be red and black.. hehehehehe..

Well.. another surprise for me.. JayJay's back..!!! aahhhh....!! I miss u alot brother..!! Alot has changed since u were gone.. I've got more accessories.. New committee.. And new champion.. heheheheheh.. Really miss u alot ahh.. Now u are assigned to 20/3 together with dzaki.. And dzaki.. JayJay'll make a great buddy.. So u have someone to help u spot ur form and give u moral support in archery as well.. Damn.. Jay Jay.. why did u have to leave me all alone..?? Nvm.. i don't care.. As long as u're back.. That's all that matters..

Taught esther.. But rather chitchat more than actual shooting coz christine's assigned bow is her own 20/5 which esther was using.. and we had trouble finding a replacement bow for her.. so in the meantime.. we talked lor.. One thing.. esther shoot so "good" that she taught she zipped an arrow but actually the arrow passed thru the board and got stuck at the back.. with it's fletches embedded deep into the board.. it was funny mann.. we were searching for an arrow that was never zipped in the first place.. LoL..!! And i dunno why ahh.. i think Szeyuan's right.. i do have the "come-beat-me" face.. coz i think esther also picked it up.. she always bully me ahh.. then when in front of ppl she give the innocent sweet look.. walao.. until like that sia bully me.. LoL..!!

Shooting my 24/1 sure's fun.. especially when i've got my form back.. The grips of Internature and KAP risers are damn nice.. I can feel the grip on my palm.. Makes it the more easier to feel my midgrip as compared to the thick grips of Samick risers.. My arrows are rather hard to see coz they're blue and i alrdy busted 2 of my 'em with my wicked groupings.. one busted arrow tip and one pk-ed nock.. hehehhe.. i'm bad.. Maybe next week i'll go to 30m and play blackjack with clement.. He's been biting at my ass to come play with him.. I didn't shoot much today though.. fasting month really drained me.. i was on the verge of dehydration.. and yes.. my seniors.. i was very tired.. can tell from my face and voice right..?? Went to harbourfront to eat with my peeps again.. No cute baby to play with though.. =(..

Been a rather hectic week for me.. make-up lessons for teachers who forgotten that they have class.. EIC's getting complicated.. DE test was a mess.. though i got a B.. Learned to play the guitar all thanks to james.. My relationship with the seniors is strengthening by the day.. My heart is getting colder by the day.. Fasting month is nearing it's end.. Sad for this holy month to go.. But happy that i don't need to be dehydrated and lose so much weight from the already severely underweight body of mine..

Somethings are brewing.. It's the calm before the storm..

Bloodshot..

Wat the Fuck..?!?!?!? PSI 150..?!?!?!

Archery training was severely cut short today.. Came to school with rachel and ryan.. small world ehh.. heheheh.. It all started well for the most part.. Less halfyears came down.. That means less asshole's to comply with.. well.. u can actually see the difference between great archers and talk-big archers.. During the whole teaching session.. the left and central part of the line of archers were all dead serious about shooting but also having fun.. That's the way it should be.. Serious yet fun in archery.. But to the far right.. are the talk-big archers.. they weren't at all teaching their students and they fooled around with them.. just one glance at them and u can tell the halfyears there their mistakes.. But wat the hell.. Not my students.. i don't care.. and they even dry-fired twice..!! And they even had the guts to challenge each other to dry fire their bows..!! WTF..!! And the challenge was coming from the senior year 1s..!! wat the fuck.. I just stood there with christine and kailin shaking our heads.. Tell u.. If james ever saw this.. And i'll probably tell him about it if this continues.. He'll ban them from using the equipment.. I mean.. they think dry firing is fun..?!?! It's like WTF..!! Somehow i noticed that most of the senior year 1s there are guys.. So being a guy i'm ashamed at their behaviour.. But... i also notice that the top 3 guys are situated to the left and centre.. ryan, shravan and me.. really teaching their students.. so there's the obvious difference between great archers and talk-big archers..

I didn't teach dzaki much today.. He doesn't need me.. He's already good on his own.. Just the occasional sight, followthrough and being tired.. instead.. i helped christine and kailin with the china girl and esther.. And esther.. she knows the Brothers. well thru her work colleague Yam of course.. So i was there then she came up to me and asked whether i knew jasper, jovee and the rest.. So i said yes.. So there's a sort of friendship triangle going on.. Esther is one funny gurl sia.. Always coming up with lame and AP jokes sia.. LoL..!! Me, christine and kailin were laughing all the time.. It was real funny.. and the way esther laugh also very funny... so we made fun of her also.. hehehehhehehe.. Had a chat with sam about his bowset, exchanging views and gaining a lot of advice from him.. takes Sam.. Now with advice from GL, clement and sam.. I've finallised my wishlist.. Now it's up to me to save the money..

Then the PSI level reached 130 at 10am and Derong gave the call to stop for the half years.. To let their "teachers" shoot.. I was given an extra 3 arrows to the 6 that i alrdy have.. So a total of 9 shots per end.. And tell u what.. i was like so wanting to shoot that i shot without armguard and my sling even though the sling was alrdy tied on my index finger.. LoL..!! Deprived of shooting ahh.. Since i had 9 arrows to shoot.. it took a while for me to complete shooting them all.. And the other senior year 1s had either 6 or 3 arrows.. And there was one moment where the majority of them were looking at me shoot my last few arrows.. I was like "Can u guys like stop looking at me..??".. then their reply was "U the champion mahh.. must watch u shoot.."... -.-".. I stopped shooting there and then.. unloaded my arrow and waited for the whistle.. I didn't shoot much today.. let dzaki use my bow.. When is the assignment of bows..?? I just can't stand sharing my bow..

Training over.. Badminton playing galore.. realised that minghui and i make a great doubles team.. beat nick and jolene, and chinyan and clement.. hehehehehhehehehhe... Played badminton like crazy.. Then followed my peeps to harbourfront to eat and break fast.. I've never seen harbourfront so jam packed with ppl before.. due to the opening of the new VivoCity just nearby.. When we finally got seats.. we got our food.. I barely even ate my food and christine and shwajuan were nagging at me about it.. it was a great time "eating" there.. Coz the next table had this cute 8 month old baby gurl who just can't stop looking over at our table and especially at GL.. LoL..!! Damn funny sia.. christine was all mushy-mushy with the baby.. So there we were.. eating our food and playing with the baby.. When we left though.. the baby shrieked at us and began to cry.. ='(.. so sad... hehehehehehe...

When is the haze period gonna end..??!! I just can't stand squinting my bloodshot eyes especially when fasting.. It irritates the throat and i can do nothing to ease the discomfort..

The Pain is starting to take its toll.. My heart is turning cold.. Am i to be come the shadow that i once was..?? Alone, disdained, an outcast..?? Just as i was before..??

A new Hafiz has arisen..

Basically over the past 3 days.. I've been spending my afternoons/evenings in the clubhouse.. Well.. It's the fasting month now.. And there's nothing much to do at home.. so spend it here at the club.. get to chitchat.. Get to sleep.. Get to even watch anime..

It's the first time that i'm actually seriously watching an anime series.. Watched this anime called, Rozen Maiden.. Great series.. Interesting, entertaining, touching, hilarious.. A really really nice series for me.. It features 5 life-dolls that can move, talk, eat and even use their powers.. It's damn great..!! And the dolls are all so cute..!! Aaarrgghhh..!! Such a great anime series indeed.. Somehow.. For some reason.. The plot and storyline has some aspects of my own life.. so there were some life lessons to learn in this story.. can't wait for Rozen maiden II which unfortunately for me.. Ashley took the DVD home.. it features 2 new dolls i just love the Rozen Maiden dolls.. So cute..!! I want one..!! *shrieks*.. Okay.. I sounded abit girlish there.. hehehehehehehehe...

Wednesday evening.. went to try out SP unicyclists.. Wan Lu whom i met from archery SPDP invited me over.. so i went lerr.. basically i did juggling.. new juggling tricks.. Then jeffrey, one of the unicyclists, even taught me how to unicycle.. hard i should say.. it really hurts between the legs.. if u know what i mean.. hheheheheheheh....

Hmm.. i'll be getting my bow hopefully by this weekend.. Realised that i get an ASSIGNED bow.. Not a chosen bow, as first said by rachel.. Fuuhh.. lucky ahh.. if i get to choose ahh.. damn malu i tell u.. i'm not good at choosing bows.. At the discretion of the team captain and the president.. i'll get the bow.. So chinyan if u read this.. Any bow would do fine for me..!! Hehehehhehehehehe...

Haaaahh... A new lease of life is unfolding before me.. should i change or stick to my old self..??

I volunteered myself to do a tutorial question.. So i got up to the board.. Armed with a marker and my rough paper which had scribbles of the solution on it.. And i began answering the qn.. I drew the diagrams from my paper.. Wrote down the explanations next to it.. The explanations were long winded.. Then.. Out of the blue.. Anqi said.. "Ehh Hafiz..!! Ur handwriting like girl lehh..!!"... Then the rest of the girls in my class went "Yahh ahh..!! Ur handwriting like a girl's..!!".. I was like -.-"...


Yes people.. I have the handwriting of a girl.. LoL..!! I really can't help it.. It's embedded into my system.. embedded into my hands.. embedded into my fingers... I have my mother's fingers.. If u were to put my hands against hers.. U can never tell the difference.. wait.. i think there are no difference.. I have a carbon copy of my mother's hands.. LoL..!! If u happen to take a closer look at my fingers.. They are long and slender.. just like a gurl's.. They don't have the stubby joints like a normal guy's fingers.. And the tips of my fingers are pointy as well.. Not like the flat edge of guy's fingers.. so basically... I have lady's fingers..!! Ahahahahahahaha...!!! And i'm damn proud of them.. they give me beautiful handwriting that i love so much.. but ppl say they are just too small.. LoL..!!


I still rmb in sec school when my malay teacher, mdm norliza, would always complain about my handwriting being small.. And also from my english teacher, Mrs Esther Chua.. who would be like "Hafiz.. Ur english is marvellous but ur handwriting is just to small..".. LoL..!! I still remember the first ever quote about my handwriting she made.. It was the second class of english with her.. so i believe she still hasn't known anyone's name.. It went something like this.. "U know class.. I've read ur compos.. And i was delighted at some of your writings.. Especially by this Hafiz.. Hafiz can u come up here and take ur paper..?".. So i got up from my seat and approached the front of class.. I think she was thinking i was going to the dustbin or something coz she was still looking around class for Hafiz.. Then i went right up to her to take the paper.. And she was like.. "Aiyo..!! Hafiz.. Ur a guy ahh..??".. Then the whole class burst into laughter.. "But ur handwriting is that of a girl's.. Really class.. just look.. Aiyo.. Hafiz.. i'm sorry.. But ur piece of work is absolutely marvellous..".. Then the whole class burst into laughter again.. So i took the paper and went back to my seat.. Then Mrs Chua recalled to the class how she marked the papers.. "U know class.. I was marking the papers when i came across Hafiz's paper.. And his handwriting is really that of a girl's.. So after i had read the piece i wa like "this girl really wrote a great compo".. I'm sorry Hafiz..".. Then she joined in the chorus of laughter of my class.. It was a rather embarassing moment for me.. And Baoxian, Shirley and some of the girls went to tease me.. So.. It really stuck in my mind.. It's one of those memories of GESS that i have where a teacher mistakens my handwriting for that of a girl's.. LoL..!!


I love my fingers very much.. They helped me win a championship..


I have lady's fingers and girl's handwriting.. LoL..!!

The most hardest thing to ever earn is definitely respect.. It's something which I strive and struggle to acheive my whole life.. Ppl look at me and see a timid, weak, goodie-two-shoes defenseless boy.. Not knowing the potential that i have.. They look down on me.. They disrespect me.. they shun me.. they ostracise me.. they hate me..

All my life... I've always wanted people to treat me as an equal.. Not someone whom they can misuse, take advantage off.. I don't like being a door mat.. that's the way ppl have treated me.. And it has always been this way.. it's a sad life.. I do not retaliate over their disrespectful actions.. For i believe in this saying -- Brave is the man who controls his anger and not the one who decimates his adversary.. An honourable verse.. but not one of any effectiveness in this age.. Honour no longer exists today.. It's just a figment of our imagination.. A long lost fantasy.. Yet.. i hold on to this virtue.. and yet.. Ppl still disrespect me.. seeing that i do not retaliate to them.. they think that they can bully me.. they climb over my head.. They carry own their malignant acts.. And yet.. i do not retaliate.. For there is no point in doing so.. How does it benefit one who beats up someone who disrespects him..?? Nothing good is achieved.. Only vengeance, a slight hint of guilt and the person would still disrespect you.. totally not what u want.. So i lead my life with humility.. not showing ppl for who i really am.. i want them to find out who i really am..

Winning the archery competition totally changed my life.. Not only have i acheived something which i really desire.. But inadvertently.. I earned respect.. respect from my fellow year 1s.. respect from my seniors.. Normally during trainings.. i would be shooting all alone together with my training buddies on one board.. Now.. ppl come up to me to seek advice, seek help, seek tips.. Help them i do.. Yet again practicing humility.. For what is a champion who does not do good to his fellow competitiors.. being champion.. Is something i've not been and is something which i have to get used to.. So much "power" in my hands.. I'm afraid of it.. I'm rather shy about it.. But the feeling of being respected is so great.. Earning respect.. Ppl no longer look down on me... Ppl treat me as an equal and some treat me much more.. Assignment of bows i think is gonna happen this week.. I get to chose the bow that i want to use.. Priority for the champion.. It'll be a rather malu moment for me.. Never have i been given the privelege to be prioritised.. Now i have earned it.. I really need to get used to it.. It'll be really embarassing in a good way when i choose my assigned bow.. But 7 pairs of eyes watching me plus the seniors.. it'll really be a malu moment..

I speak of earning respect today.. Coz i was disrespected on 2 occasions today.. really had me thinking.. the good that i do to ppl.. is not something which they can use to their advantage.. I am not a slave.. Sometimes i have to do things on my own so that i can improve myself.. But all the more painful for me is that these ppl do not appreciate the good things that i have done to them... And just an act of individuality.. just doing things on my own.. to be more precise.. not joining their project group.. And ppl look at me, treat me like i've committed a deadly sin.. they can even insult me.. And after being caught for not handing up assignements.. i'm to be blamed.. the reason..?? I didn't give him an opportunity to escape.. pretty stupid ain't it..?! And the amount of insults, expletives and vulgarities that were rained down on me in return.. And not only that.. friends.. Friends that i taught would last, side with him.. why..?? Coz they fear him.. The good things that i do... Are definitely not to be taken advantage off.. My kind nature is not to be taken as a means of advantage.. Now i've lost a couple of friends over something which is called "doing the right thing".. Now i'm all alone with only 2 friends by me.. disrepected and ostracised..

So i sit here.. with tears welling up in my eyes.. typing all this shit down in the clubhouse.. with anthony and yazid doing ballroom-dancing with imaginary partners.. yes.. they're dancing.. their actions rather comical and cheering me up abit.. and yes.. i have archery.. I have the shooting and the non-shooting aspect ridding my mind of such negative things..
Ppl hate me for the good things that i do to them..