Things are slowly turning for the better.. or rather.. I should put it as detailed as -- things are slowly turning for the better as the undeniable truth is accepted and positive results of hardwork bear fruit..

well. i can't deny the truth for long. as time goes by, it slowly reveals itself and ultimately no matter how much i may hate it.. i have to handle it and accept it.. i have to accept the way things are and the way things are turning out for me. i see it as a test of will and mental strength. i've tried looking beyond the truth but it never fails to hit me smack in my face and bring me back down to earth. this truth is my limit and i can never break thru it no matter how much i wanna go beyond it..

everything has a limit..

And for a change of things.. results turn out positive and have rekindled the dying flame in me.. i will work hard.. i must work hard.. i never knew the extent in which it improved.. i will continue to work hard in improving it.. this time making it balanced.. with the left region going down too..

i have managed to bear the shape of the 10 packs.. now to define them.. they have protected me too.. from a multitude of prods of sorts..

archery.. haaa..

things are going on rather well.. i must work hard to develop the strength and redefine the once-lost technique.. everything is now done in a sequence which can be repeated with great ease as i managed to find for myself the most optimum of engagement of the necessary muscle groups.. now i have to work hard to maintain this..

will i ever get to carry out what i have planned..? all those detailed drawings.. all those notes and careful observation.. i hope i really can carry out as how i planned them and with positive results.. i have done it before without a plan and it turned out way beyond my expectations, now i'd figure it'll be much better coz i have planned them out nicely..




short, skinny, dark and hairy..

Been extremely tired these past few weeks.. must be the extra weight training i underwent to compensate since i can't shoot on wednesdays for this month.. damn pathetic.. stupid fyp shit and dumb booking slots that the school gives..

Growing weaker by the day.. can feel my whole body deteriorating.. totally demoralised.. but there's motivation.. there's my trademark unwavering, indomitable will to continue.. Have always lived by the 4Ps of my life..

Patience..
Persistence..
Perseverance..
Perspiration..

They make an unbeatable combination for success.. but it ain't easy.. nothing ever is in my life..

doing MSTs now.. i hope i can do well.. i believe i can.. i really need to pull my gpa up..

archery ain't going too well.. the responsibilities of a team captain leaves me with little time for my own shooting.. but on the other hand.. i learn new things due to the trial-and-error approach to individual archers having problems with their forms, i also learned how to observe into more detail of an archer's form.. Now i know how Guo Long feels.. unable to shoot for the sake of others.. if Guo Long can do it.. so can I.. and whenever i feel like shit.. it never fails to know that my coach was in the same position as i am and now he's an established archer even making it to the national youth squad.. isn't that great..?

Am I up for great things..? I don't know.. I'll just be simple and lead my life according to the things that life throws at me..

it never hurts to dream of great things.. but the dream would be meaningless if it's not strived for.. I dream of great things.. and i strive for my dreams.. Patience, persistence, perseverance and perspiration will see me thru.. i just have to take it one little baby step at a time.. whatever it takes for me to achieve that dream.. whatever it takes..

i have a dream.. and am not afraid to go for it..


No matter how much a person of good nature may hate.. their docile personality always prevents them from doing harm.. in fact even improving the lives of the ones that they hate.. this is their fate, these good-natured people..

Have u ever had a person whom u considered more then a friend..
Someone whom u feel comforted with..
Someone whom u feel most happy with..
Someone who could tell that there's something wrong just by looking at u..
someone who could read ur mind and know u so well that that person knows what u're gonna do next..
Someone whom u could trust ~~

And suddenly when u're not looking..
when u're having fun and knowing, trusting that this person is with u..
This person brandishes a curved blade smeared in the most lethal of poison..
And impales u from the back..
And not only that, the blade is then twisted and u feel ur flesh rip apart from the wound..
And the blade is rammed in so hard and deep that it's lodged there constantly oozing off it's poison as the toxin courses thru ur blood, killing u slowly.. painfully..
And whenever u see this person.. u feel the blade at ur back.. by an unknown force, u can feel the blade slowly crawling deeper and deeper into u spreading the hatred of the poison..

And there's nothing much more ecstatic then the feeling of hatred surging thru my body.. I tremble at the immense feel of power in the evil.. and the hatred and rage pouring out, pulsating from my body.. It may be the thing that drives me to victory.. the sick, evil drive that pushes u on ever onward..



the shiver of ecstatic hatred down my spine..

Let's start according to events that have greater importance..

Ok.. let's begin with SP Archery Club Annual General Meeting 2007..

well.. a very VERY big occasion.. don't want to go into detail abt the reason.. politics.. eeee.. yucks..

Annual report from the leaving committee then it was handing down ceremony..

and so.. here's the names of the new committee members..

President -- Ryan
Vice-President -- Kai Lin ( Vain Pot..!! XD)
Team Captain -- Hafiz
Secretary -- Christine
Treasurer -- Nadiah
Quarter Master -- We Yong
Event Coordinator a.k.a PRO -- Rachel ( Pro sia.. whoo.. pro..)
Membership Secretary -- Wai Jack


Mass Photo-Taking.. then off to training.. train at stadium.. shot 90m.. whoo.. maybe one of these rare days at the stadium.. i take a Full Fita score..

*sigh*.. being a team captain is harder then i thought.. i have to maintain and hopefully raise the standards of the already-high standards of the club.. wooo. damn hard.. i have laid out some plans though.. hopefully they'll turn out fine and work out.. i really don't wanna let ryan and kailin down.. have to get advice from chinyan and guolong.. arrggh..!! Help me..!! XD

another week of FYP talks.. have eyes on some technology groups.. but have yet to make up my mind.. have somemore FYP talks to go thru before i register my FYP grp..



as the old saying goes.. with great power comes great responsibility..
and stress..





Main committee 07/08

It's taking some time for the sorrow to settle in.. but i have this feeling.. deep down inside.. that whenever i think of him.. i'm rather happy for him then sad abt it.. the pain of chemotherapy treatment that he endured for the past 3 years has finally ended.. his torment is over.. and he now rests in peace.. =)

well.. time to get on with my life..

i don't know why.. but ever since he passed.. There's alot of hate brewing in me.. maybe coz it's the multitude of dumb shit that happens in my life and his passing was the 'icing on the cake' and i lost my patience..

so let me put it this way.. let me just admit..

Yes.. i have lost my patience over everything.. it's all hatred for me now.. i dunno why.. but i just hate everything that conflicts with me.. aarrrgghh.!!

made some new friends over the week.. in particular this guy named Arvin from DIT.. Got to know him thru the 7aside soccer tournament last saturday.. funny guy.. nice guy.. if u're feeling low.. he's the guy to crack u up with his lame ass jokes..

oh well..

i've been tasked with a greater responsibility now.. i will do my best to carry out this duty..

Fucking FYP getting on my nerves.. can't get a fix on group members.. some ppl say they wanna join but lack the commitment.. others stuck between two loyalties.. and also.. i dunno wat fucking technology group to choose.. hope every thing turns out fine.. fuck


should i ask them..?

And things just can't get any better for me..

Last week.. my childhood friend was admitted into hospital.. so i visited him along with my family.. thinking that it was just another one of those attacks.. but to my utter dismay.. it was otherwise.. His cancer had reached the final stage and there was no hope left.. he was terminal.. and he looked so much different from how he was just a few months back.. a few months back.. he had just returned from umrah.. all happy and playful.. but now.. now.. n~

when i visited him.. he could no longer speak properly.. only muttering to himself.. unable to recognise anyone except for his direct family.. only responding to them.. he was frail.. he was famished.. he was going to pass..

And nothing could be done but wait.. and nothing is much more sickening then the tormenting long wait for a friend to die.. the wait to die.. everytime i laughed.. i saw his face.. then sorrow would overwhelm me.. then i go silent.. he's around my age.. 21.. but nevertheless it hurt so much.. for someone so young to pass away.. it's like watching myself die..

and so.. on tuesday.. he came back home shortly after.. he went into a coma.. and last night.. by 9pm.. he was gone.. Gone ~

extreme sorrow gripped me.. tears flowed and flowed.. i was on the computer but my vision was blurred by tears that welled up in my eyes.. i told myself to be strong.. to continue with watever i was doing.. and just let the tears flow.. but i could not.. i crumbled under the immense sadness.. i cried.. i wept..

this morning.. i went to his place.. one of the first.. went in to see his face for the very last time.. as his sister drew the cover over his face.. i was shocked.. not in fear.. but in gladness.. his face.. peace was on his face and he had a hint of a smile on his face.. he passed on peacefully.. and i was glad.. and i tears came flowing out again.. and i took one last look at him as i gathered the courage to turn away.. his peaceful face etched into my memory..

and so i waited and participated as the funeral procession went on.. and followed him to the cemetery right to his grave.. as i watched the gravediggers pile the soil on him.. memories of him came flooding thru my mind.. happy memories.. i will never forget his the smile on his face.. as well as the last time i saw his face..


Amiruddin.. Rest in peace..