Maybe..

Maybe.. just maybe.. I should just shut the fuck up.. And let my actions do the talking.. Since nothing worth it ever comes out of my mouth.. then there's nothing for me to say at all.. Naturally it's wrong to NOT to help.. it is deemed as heartless.. Even when i DO help.. It's also wrong.. Shutting myself up seems to be the only solution.. so i'm at no fault.. Neither here nor there..

Maybe I should revert back to the wraith that i once was.. Nobody knows who i am.. Nobody knows my name.. Nobody knows how i look like.. Nobody knows that i even exist.. Unknown.. Non-existent.. Alone.. Exiled.. Just like how i was once before.. A ghost.. Like how i was described back then.. I just come and go.. Everywhere but unnoticed.. Never to dwell in the matters of others.. In this way.. There would be no need for me to care for others.. Wat's the point of doing so when u get lambasted back in the face for something u never did and u were only trying to help.. Things in the past were much favourable.. Not like now..

Now.. Ppl mentioned my name.. Hafiz.. There's only one thing in mind.. archery... "Hafiz..?? Orh.. He's the champion..".. Hafiz this.. Hafiz that.. everyone knows me.. Everyone looks up to me.. Too much fame.. I don't like it.. At least not anymore..

Mr Wee just lend me Samick Universal 68inch 38lbs limbs..

Turning wraith-like by the moment..
Hollow and heartless..
Transformation -- 52%

Weekend writeout..

Before u guys read this entry.. Know that i have weekday entries.. some of u ppl think i only write on weekends.. *wink*..

A brief event that happened on friday afternoon..
News spread that i had bought the Eclipse riser.. And when news spread.. Ppl ask questions and make comments.. I'm willing to answer qns but the comments these ppl make.. well.. let's just narrow it down to a person.. Upon hearing me having bought the riser.. And only the riser.. no limbs, no sight.. nothing else.. just the riser itself.. This "person" gave a rather nasty comment.. "Buy riser only..? That is like so dumb.."
Dumb..?!?! Dumb..?!?! He called me dumb..!! Who the hell does he think he is..?!?! Calling me dumb when he isn't even that good.. His form totally sucks and he has the guts to call me dumb.. Damn was i mad..!! But luckily BK was there.. he said "Hafiz smart lorr.. Eclipse is the last economical bow that Hoyt produces.. He grab fast fast.. If not the next Hoyt bow is either Helix or Nexus.. All so bloody ex.." Well.. that calmed me down.. I could have gotten into a fight right there and then.. This "person" better watch his mouth or it'll be my fist down his throat..

Saturday..
Had Burger King for breakfast.. sent my brother to the airport.. then i was off to training.. i was still reeling in the anger of what that person said.. Let's just call this person "fucker".. met yazid in the train.. the clubhouse was packed.. with ppl and with set-up C-class bows.. And Sam.. One of the kindest of souls.. Gave me his Cartel Triple main stab for $60.. i haven't paid him yet.. but he let me use it first.. how kind of him..!! So now.. My budget has been lowered even further.. no need for me to buy a stab.. So i went down to the field to commence training.. And goddamn.. it was one of the hottest and humid trainings i have ever been in.. I perspired profusely and i only set up the left barricade.. It was the first time i ever prepared for training with my shirt off..

Esther came soon after.. I guess she can sense the anger in me.. That's something unique about her.. she can sense things.. especially sense my raging emotions.. And she sensed the rage in me.. Weiyi set up a board to the left side of the field away from the other boards.. and it was at 18m.. all the more perfect for teaching and getting me away from ppl.. Then fucker came.. with his new bowset.. exactly the same as shwajuan's.. That had SJ feeling upset and of course i felt angered as well.. He come haolian with his new bowset.. come fix his bow in the view of everyone.. like his bow so good like that.. the bow is good.. but the fucker using it isn't.. Spoil the reputation of Eclipse only.. Asshole..!!

The 18m board that i intended to use was only used by weiyi and munweng.. so no distractions at all.. Perfect for teaching.. So i taught esther.. corrected that followthrough problem of hers.. now she's doing well with her groupings.. just having the problem of not twisting her elbow in.. that can be worked out over time.. after she shot.. I shot.. getting myself attuned to new form.. by groupings are there.. shaft-kiss-shaft groupings.. I was still not in the mood to gloat with my exceptional skill.. Since wei yi was at the board.. he watched me shoot.. then i went to have lunch with esther.. Not before weiyi gave me a heart to heart talk.. Won't dwell on it.. Something of a secret.. Had lunch.. talked to esther.. told her not to fear me.. and told her the reason why i was feeling so angry and why i put up a 'scary' face.. Back to training.. everyone was preparing for the shootout.. so i didn't teach esther.. i had to prepare myself too.. there was this end where BK Pk-ed my arrow.. his whole shaft went into my arrow..!! Wow wonderful..!! Training ended in a sour note as it rained.. No shootout.. no taking of score..

Talked to shwajuan about how the feeling of shooting the Eclipse was.. She said it was marvellous.. But she was still feeling upset coz fucker is really spoiling the reputation of the Eclipse.. I'm looking forward to completing my bowset then i can enjoy the euphoria of shooting it..

But it was after training that really got me worked up.. Everytime i passed by fucker.. He gave me this fuckingly fucked up stare.. Everytime.. everytime.. everytime i look at him i see him staring at me with his fucking eyes.. Wat..?!?! I'm the other eclipse user so wat..?!?! I'll beat ur eclipse with my wooden bow.. Wat's the fucking stare for..?!?!? U got a problem with me..?!?! Let's handle it then.. The next time he stares at me.. It won't end nicely..


Sunday..
i woke up late.. headed down to training.. hopefully the weather would stay as fine as it is so that i can train and take my shootout score.. Took my score.. 297.. 3 points short of 300.. damn.. i just handed it up but saturday i'm gonna take it again.. Hopefully it'll pass the 300 mark.. I tried to shoot with shwajuan's eclipse.. it's a 34lbs bow but tilled to 28-29lbs.. It was great shooting it..!! The stability.. The punch in the shot.. the "oompf".. It was great..

ONe big BIG surprise for all the archers.. Mr Wee came down..!! Wow..!! And he helped out with most of the archers' form and technical aspects.. He asked me why i was still using a wooden bow and not the eclipse that i had bought.. He said he was gonna get me limbs.. How nice of him.. if only he could remember.. hehehehehhe.. Since Mr Wee was here.. we had a late lunch.. It was a precious moment.. A Great archer is here.. the weather is perfect.. how could i give up a chance like this..?!?! Never.. fought back the growls of my stomach.. and shot.. Mr wee checked everyone's form.. He even checked mine and christine's.. He said that both of our forms are great.. Slick and smooth.. *gloat*.. ahahahahhahaha.. only thing hindering us is the fact that we're using low poundage bows.. It was great moment.. Spending time with him.. Aaahhh..!! The advice and teaching that he gave.. not just to the individual but eveyone as well.. So precious and priceless.. I just can't describe it..


Don't worry Mr Wee.. I'll impress u soon enough.. Give me 2-3months.. i believe i can do it..!! i can do it..!! i will do it..!! i'll thrash that fucker..!!


Making things impossible possible..
Competition between the male Eclipse users..

Interesting, fun and insightful thursday..


Seems to me.. Thursdays are getting insightful.. Heh.. well.. i love them..


Today.. well.. today.. First thing in the morning I had my GEM's EIC test.. It was tiring.. the writing part.. coz i had to write a whole lot of stuff.. something like literature mixed with psychology.. well.. U have to write alot in L&C modules.. heh.. could say i did well.. Hah.. i believed i did well.. From the amount i wrote.. I can do well.. Ahahahahhahaa.. Then it was ol' boring boring, sleepy sleepy nappytime in the clubhouse.. Ahahahhahaha.... BK came down during lunch.. ahahhahah.. he damn funny lorr.. He came to adjust the hardlock dovetail tiller system in his aerotec.. and when he opened his bowcase.. it stank.. coz there was some mould growing on his finger tab.. ahahahahhahahaha.. Funny lorr.. after he was done with the tiller system.. he was scrapping the mould of his finger tab with a penkinfe.. until i asked him to use a lighter to burn the mould away since leather doesn't burn.. ahahahahhaha.. his face damn cute lorr when he burning.. his tongue stick out like mine as he was engrossed with the burning.. ahahahha.. so cute sia..


well.. after that.. took a long nap.. then learned how to play poker.. and we played with fletches as our playing chips.. ahahahahahha.. damn funny lorr.. so off we were then.. yazid, me, derong to bishan to meet up with shwajuan and derong to go to Mr Wee's house.. Mr Wee is one of SP archery club's equipment supplier.. Mr Wee is the son of the late former president Mr Wee Kim Wee.. And Mr Wee is the only Hoyt supplier in all of south east asia.. And.. After today... Mr Wee is the most fun and lovable old man ever..!! second only to my grandfather..


Well.. We went there of course to buy archery equipment.. Yazid went there to buy spin vanes, a cavalier plunger and a chestguard.. BK went there to buy hoyt helix's ergo grip and k-vanes.. Then i bought my Hoyt Red Eclipse.. ahh.. Here's why Mr wee's lovable.. He gave me a free plunger button which costs $28 and he gave me such good advice..!! well.. the advice is a hush-hush.. he asked me to up to 38lbs.. 38lbs..!! i was shocked.. i really wanna up my poundage.. Mr Wee asked derong to allow me to borrow the club's limbs.. but now.. It's all down to the president and team captain's as well as QM to decide whether i can do so.. coz not only do i have to borrow limbs.. i have to borrow a sight and get a new bunch of assigned arrows.. Shwajuan bought an eclipse as well.. a blue one.. as well as other accessories to go with a c-class bowset.. And he wants her to shoot 34lbs.. And he wants both of us to up to c-class as soon as possible.. ahahahahahha.. Mr Wee is such a lovable guy.. I love the advice that he gave.. It'll work.. I'll most certainly put it to work..


And now TEC risers are accepted in standard class.. All the more better..!! I can use my eclipse..!! If only i can save enough for a sight, limbs, string and maybe some arrows.. Arrows.. I would want to go for Easton X7 Eclipse arrows for my aluminium arrows.. I want to up my archery..!!


I shall give my bow a name..
Hmm...

















Mr Wee's gold plated Trykon XL compound bow..
Cool..!!

Something strange..


Something strange happened today.. it's really weird.. it's like this.. I was in the middle of class with a rather boring lecture going on.. And i dunno how.. I dunno why.. I suddenly saw my friend reading one of those female magazinez.. CLEO.. heh.. and i dunno.. whether it was out of boredom or not.. but i suddenly decided to borrow it.. Heh.. Imagine.. me.. reading CLEO.. ahahahahhaha.. and hey.. it's a good magazine.. aahahahahahhaha..

The dating trivia part was nice.. And i truly believe in this --> Why is it that the more a man wants you - as a potential partner, not a sexual conquest - the less likely he is to touch you..?? Heh.. I truly believe in this.. Coz how should i say..?? errmm.. i practice this..?? heh.. Well the answer to this conservatism is RESPECT.. I respect the opposite sex.. I was brought up to respect ladies.. Heh.. Well.. this was one section i enjoyed.. and the other --> What a man Really wants in a wife.. Heh.. and i find it all too true.. Ahaahhahahah..

Read Cleo magazine..
It's.. err.. "enriching"..!!
Ahhahahahah

Weekend writeout..

training was supposedly suppose to start at 12pm.. An as usual, the westsiders came down early to play badminton.. Came.. played.. Played a double's match against two other guys.. tall and muscular guys.. Partnered with shwajuan.. didn't think we could win.. all for the fun of sport.. so i played my heart out.. and we thrashed them.. ahahahhaha.. too much heart there.. twice coming from behind to win the 2 sets we played.. the malay guy was good.. i have to admit.. and surprisingly shwajuan played well for that match..

then.. GL, who went down to the field as we played, came back.. Bad news.. No training.. i was like.. "WTF..!! No training again..??!!"... I was going nuts.. Aarrgghh..!! No training..!! how..??!! So i informed the top 8 and got a salvo of qns from them.. ahahaha.. very funny.. but then since it was last minute change.. some of the year 1s were alrdy here.. ahhahahhahah... So.. seeing the large number of archers alrdy here.. clement came up with this "brilliant" idea of bringing them to TBAC.. i wanted badly to shoot.. But then.. seeing the archers who were here and who wanted to go there.. i thought twice about going.. TBAC has only two 30m boards.. and i'd have to shoot with these "ppl".. not my type of ppl.. braggards and extras.. not good.. not good at all.. somemore christine and kailin not going either.. then GL didn't want to go.. so that sealed it.. a perfect excuse for not following them to TBAC.. "Hafiz not shooting..??".. "Oh No.. My teacher not going why should I..??".. Ehehehehhehe... so i played badminton with shwajuan again against clement and tim before the 1pm when they set off for TBAC.. Beat them too..!! ahahahahh... there was a mass sign out of equipment.. very funny sia see the seniors all kanciong with the sign out of the equipment..

while walking to FC5 with the remaining ppl, derong, christine, kailin, albert, jack, GL, shwajuan and tsyr harn, came across rachel and the others who were lugging their equipment to the busstop at the back of campus.. Then they asked me lorr.. "Hafiz not following..??".. I just smiled.. Ehehheheheheh.. "GL not going".. was my reply.. Heh.. the look on their faces.. lke rather shock that i never go shoot.. honestly i really cannot shoot with such "ppl" around.. not blaming rachel and the girls or anything.. not them.. some other ppl.. spoils my mood.. This is the first time i've ever turned down an offer to go shoot.. My first.. And a rather good reason to do so.. I just fucking hate braggards and extras..!!! Ahahahhahahha..!!! *evil laugh*..

Then somehow.. God sympathised with my dilemma.. pitied me for not being able to shoot.. And we got a chance to shoot.. but only 18m.. And with my peeps.. of course i would shoot..!! Shoot in school.. by the wednesday night training area.. except that it was in the late afternoon..

Something was weird.. i asked GL to check my form.. And he said i was leaning back.. i tried all my best to get it right but i couldn't.. My groupings are shaft-kiss-shaft groupings but my form is wrong.. Ahahahahha.. I've been shooting like this for like when i started archery.. Like GL said.. consistent wrong form.. Ahahahahha.. And i became champion shooting in a wrong form..!!! Ahahahahha.. How silly can that be..?!?!? Ahahahahahahahhahaha... Really had me laughing a lot.. I'm not being arrogant or anything.. it's just that.. don't u find it weird..?? A consistent wrong form that is like so good..?? Ahahahha.. really really contradictory..!! Good yet wrong.. Ahahahahhahahaha...!! Then i had GL, shwajuan, tsyr harn and yazid watching my form as i shot.. Consistent... still leaning back.. still wrong.. Ahahahhahaha..!! Then yazid asked me to lean forward as i pre-draw so that the leaning forward will neutralise the leaning back movement.. so there u have it.. problem solved.. Hah..!! Change form again..!! Ahahahahhaha..!! But it was several things that happened during this training that had me thinking.. On how the archers mainly, Yazid and Shwajuan, had problems and how Gl solved them.. ehehe


consistent wrong form..
Ahahahahha..
really funny lorr..

A rare insightful thursday..

I came to school today for a rather lame 2 hours for GEMs class.. Well.. i thought it was lame at first.. until my teacher Ms Wee brought up a great lesson.. My GEMs.. Effective interpersonal communication is all about EQ.. Emotional Quotient.. something very important.. even for those with high IQs, without EQ.. U won't survive the world.. Okay.. so that's a brief insight about my GEMs.. And so far.. we've been studying our own emotions.. but today's lessons was different.. It started off with us finding synonyms for basic words such as "say", "talk", "watch" and "tired".. Basically, finding synonyms for these words are for our use in identifying the intensity of the words and how the ppl saying them are feeling.. And my teacher says that i'm cheeky coz i come up with cheeky words for the synonyms.. -.-"

So today's lesson.. we dwelled and intensively studied scenarios on how a single word can totally change the mood of the scenario from a clam setting to a fight.. We learned the voodoo effect.. Basically the term for "shooting" someone.. We are basically attacking our extended selfs.. like a sticking a pin in a voodoo doll.. So there u have it.. "shooting" is called the voodoo effect.. I realise how important this lesson was yesterday when i chatted with shwajuan and due to a misunderstanding i got her all feisty.. Damn.. i was scared.. I apologised to her non-stop.. I didn't shoot her or anything.. I just said a phrase which she misintepreted and then she got angry at me.. *Phew* luckily in knew how to deal with such a situation and then got on good terms with her when she realised that she misunderstood my words.. So a huge sigh of relief for me there.. I didn't want to lose a friend just becoz of a silly thing such as misunderstanding.. so today's lesson on voodoo effect was really clarified my mind about this topic.. Now i know how to deal effectively in such situations..

Voodoo effect also dwelled on the fact on how we actually "shoot" ppl.. or in voodoo effect terms.. poked a needle.. Realise that we always poke needles into ppl by asking questions.. These "questions" are actually hooks.. Yeah.. Hooks.. Notice how u invert a question mark and it's a hook.. well.. these "questions" hook the ppl questioned into rather "difficult" situations.. Realise that it easier to give questions than answer them.. Here is where the logic of question-hook comes into play.. So.. When ppl use these "questions" they are basically stamping a psychological stand of superiority.. So.. basically.. u ask are claiming to someone else that u are superior than him/her by asking questions.. Notice how i answer irritating questions with a "why not..?!".. Heh.. i give a question as areply to stamp my authority and to avoid answering the initial question.. EIC is great for me.. test next week.. i wanna get a ADIST in it.. i sure can..

Cheeky..??

Why Not..??

Something rare for me to do..

An entry dedicated to Tristan, Touchstone Pictures' King Arthur's coolest Sarmatian knight.. I just love this guy..!! He's mysterious.. A great scout.. A great swordsman.. Not to mention a great archer..!! Aaahh..!! I just love the sadistic ways he does in killing in his opponent.. Ahahahahahha.. And his swordplay is kinda what i'm learning right now.. Fluid and fast.. Each stroke flowing into the next... Really cool.. Somehow we seem to share the same characteristics.. chey.. Nonchalant and untactful on our words of speech.. Yet effectively good in archery..!! Ahahahahahhahaha.. Next up i wanna learn is knife-throwing..!! Ahahahhahaha.. He does not fear death.. But somehow loves to dwell on it.. Ehehehehehehe.. kinda like me.. chey.. ahahahhahahahhaha.. His armour is damn cool..!! And his helmet looks rather mongolian.. Ahahahahhaha.. I just love this guy..!! Ahahahhaha.. I wanna be like him.. In fact.. I'm growing my hair to be like his..!! Ahahahahahhahahaha.. Here's a tribute video of him.. And others as well..

Weekend writeout..

Damn.. archery training sucked.. so much effort into the setting up of the field then it all came down to only shooting 2 darn ends... 2 ends..!! 2 fucking ends..!! Not even warm-up ahh... even my students shot more than me.. 2 darn ends..!! Why the hell has the weather changed so drastically in just a few short hours.. at 10am it was so hot and sunny and i thought i would become dark again.. then it changed and it rained instead.. sianzz... dunno whether dzaki put to use the string alignment.. esther.. well.. hard to say.. i was initially planning to redo her form from scratch.. but then it was a race against time to shoot.. so i just let her be.. then went to my shooting.. damn.. why did it had to rain..?!?!?! rain later lahh.. at around 5pm like dat.. walao.. heart pain ahh.. then sunday no training.. walao.. heartpain.. Surprisingly.. Hanrui turned up like he said he would.. heh.. PJC's team captain.. ehh.. u lucky my tc and president are very friendly.. they allow u to join us to shoot somemore.. hehehehehhe.. esther went off.. to cineleisure with her friends..

so it was wet weather programme.. badminton and carrom.. but then badminton court was full so we played carrom.. sianz.. dzaki went off first.. going out with family to vivocity... vivocity.. never been there before.. and all the hype about it.. just wait for an opportune moment to go there.. then the rest of us went to braddel.. to christine's mum's stall.. not halal food.. so i bought food from another muslim stall.. sianzz..

but then the night before was fun.. Jasper's birthday.. not many ppl turned up though.. esp the girls.. but.. one surprise.. never thought this particular girl would come.. but she did.. and come to think of it.. we didn't know we were waiting for her until she arrived.. guess who..?? Esther lahh.. ahahahahha.. yes... miss ysohappy came for her favourite JJB's birthday.. went to marina south.. had steamboat.. To put it short.. DAMN FUN..!! Esp with the guys.. of course it's fun..!! Ahahahahahahhaha.. Sam drank like he never drunk before and got drunk.. never have i seen him so drunk before.. like want to bitchslap him mann.. but then esther was around so cannot do so.. just imagine if i were to do that.. Ahahhahahahahhahahaha.. then was one time when our jokes came down to yam mentioning about yiwen then desmond got up and jokingly threw the plastic chair in "anger" but the chair bounced back and hit him in the face..!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha...!!!

sianzz.. MSTs..

Came across a certain excerpt from sulaiman's blog.. A girl told him this..

nice guys finish last.

it's all a matter of the nice guys waiting for the right moment,

while the bad guys try anytime.

Bad guys have more opportunities to finish first.

Nice guys are always going to finish last.

Goddamn it.. It's damn true.. No girls like or even ever appreciate nice guys.. Nice guys are just there to be stepped on.. Nice guys wait for the right moment coz nice guys care for the girls that they love.. They feel that there's always a right thing for a right thing.. A right mood.. Nice guys wait for the right moment so as to not hurt the girl's feelings if they bring up the wrong things at the wrong time.. Bad guys try anytime coz they don't give a shit about the girl.. they only care about themselves.. They finish first.. Coz at the beginning.. everything that they do first, are what the girls want.. given that this is what the girls want.. the bad guys are given more opportunities by the girls.. this is where they finish first.. But have u ever noticed that bad guys have a lot of ex-es..?? Coz they get bored of the girls eventually.. With this excerpt coming from a girl's mouth.. little does she know what she actually said.. Bad guys finish first.. coz when they're also done with girls.. they finish first.. they're done with the girl fast.. Nice guys are always going to finish last.. coz once they're in a relationship.. they do all their best to keep it.. they want it to last.. This is where they finish last.. coz when all the bad guys are done.. the nice guys are there.. they're always there to care and comfort girls left behind by the bad guys..

So what if the bad guys finish first.. wat matters most is who finishes when all the others are finished.. Bad guys finish first.. they stand tall.. but in the end.. the nice guys finish last.. the nice guys are the ones left standing.. The nice guys are the ones who survive.. The nice guys are the ones who really last..

Nice guys are never given a chance..

Weekend writeout..

Saturday..

Training time was pushed back due to the inter-con soccer competition.. So we could only go to the field supposedly at 12pm.. So.. my archery peeps and i came down early.. to play badminton.. it was originally thought of by clement.. GL wasn't at all in the mood.. so i played with shwajuan.. we played and played.. just hitting strokes around.. Then for some reason.. shwajuan said that my legs were too skinny.. And i was like "Wtf..?!?!".. We laughed.. to add further humourous insult.. Every hit that she made she went "Hafiz.. eat more".. LoL..!! Ahahahahhahaha... well.. we played until some ppl arrived who had that court booked.. and clem who came late was carrying his racket down when he had to go back up again.. ahahahhahahahaha...

Then me and adelia (who supposedly didn't know that training time was pushed back).. went down to the soccer court to watch esther in her camp.. Gosh..!! guess esther really cannot see without her glasses.. Coz both of us were like waving frantically and jumping up and down at her and she didn't even see us.. we were like .. -.-".. Anyways.. the soccer com ended earlier so we took the field.. Albert came down to shoot with us.. coz he's out from the national team so he's back to shooting with us.. And it is really damn great to have a national archer shoot with us.. Helix and X10s..!! Ahhhh...!!! 50lbs..!! Ahhh..!! he's shooting is damn good lorr.. at 30m and 50m.. it's all in the yellow..!! so good..!! i wanna be like him..!! i didn't train much today.. i had to go up to the clubhouse like 4 and a half times consecutively.. i was like "wtf..?!?! 4 times".. the half was realising that i didn't take the key and went down again to make it 5 but met ee yang halfway who had the key..

went back down.. set up both esther's and dzaki's training bows.. watched them shoot.. then we had leonard's birthday party.. sang song.. give present.. the new easton logo plats.. then me and dzaki along with GL and yazid went to have lunch.. looks like GL had a change of mood and is now more "high".. Went back down.. to find connie teaching esther.. she handed back esther over to me.. but.. there were some other ppl like poking their bloody nose into other ppl's business.. dowan to say name.. but some of u should know who.. and these ppl busybody only come and teach my student.. i was annoyed and frustrated.. they're seniors and i have no right to push them away.. but then.. it's like totally disregarding that esther is my student and i'm teaching her.. the frustration build up in me.. coz they taught in a different way.. and everytime they taught her.. i felt like crap.. i'll be like "Who's her teacher..?? Me or U..??".. and everytime they taught her.. she moved further and further away from wat i planned for her.. it was really frustrating.. i was angry.. and everytime i taught her.. they corrected me.. and when she followed their teachings.. she gets hurt in the process.. the bowstring will slap her arm.. and she almost cried from the pain.. but i was there to comfort her.. and it really hurts me to see a girl in a pain.. it really hurt me alot, esp when she's my student, my responsibility..

I couldn't take the shit anymore.. I was fuming with the flames of anger.. never have i felt such anger in a long time.. it was affecting me.. both myself and my shooting.. i shot like crap.. i had to let it all out.. so when i was done with my shooting.. i turned around.. put down my bow.. and yelled at the top of my lungs.. i shocked almost everyone.. even esther.. and dzaki as well.. i just retrieved my arrows and drank.. hoping the cold drink might cool me down.. but no.. these clowns were still messing with my student.. i couldn't take it.. i just took the cup and kicked it in the air.. turned around.. punched a pillar then stormed off.. leaving dzaki, rayson, esther and shwajuan, who was constantly saying "Hafiz.. don't do this..", awestruck.. i just sat down in front of the sports hall toilet.. sat there thinking.. calming my anger.. the furox within myself.. guess i can never fully let go of my past..

after about half an hour i came back.. and TC held a meeting with the top 8.. but mr bananaboy barged into the meeting acting cool with his handphone to his ear and drinking a can of milo.. And damn was he rude.. chinyan was like saying "excuse me, can u leave.." And his reply was "what? why must i leave..".. and calming the anger that i just let lose just a few minutes ago.. i calmly told him that this was a meeting for the assigned people.. then his reply was "wat assigned ppl..??".. the tone of his voice was damn rude and 10 pairs of eyes were glaring at him.. with the reply he gave.. i said in a commanding voice.. "This meeting is for the top 8.. why don't u take a walk..?!?!".. "chey.. i thought wat.." was his reply.. Oh gosh bananaboy.. u just broke the ice of the champion.. so the meeting ended on a sour note.. with everyone equally pissed at bananaboy..

well.. with the dilemma that i was in.. i moved dzaki and esther to another board.. to move them away from those ppl.. those "outside interferences".. but these OI still came over.. i was losing it.. i was getting ready to punch.. but not the wall this time.. some flesh and bone.. but then i saw the look on esther's face.. the look of fear.. she feared me today.. and that pure innocence put out the flames of anger in me.. so i just left her with them for a moment while i isolate myself from the source of my anger.. and went to shoot 30m.. And guess wat.. Bananaboy tried to teach me..!! before he could finish i stormed off to retrieve my arrows.. i was like "WTF..??!! U..?? Teach me..??!!...".. i was freaking out.. i kept on spewing crap about him.. and shravan, rachel, christine and kailin really thought i was losing it.. heck i was losing it.. I'm not trying to brag.. but it's like wat the fuck.. a guy his standards.. trying to correct me..?!?! He is like so damn low.. ranked 13th and he wants to teach the champion..?!?! Goddamn.. bananaboy.. u just crossed the line..

Sunday..

my shooting improved.. of course without all the sources of anger around me.. and i learned from rachel a new stance that really helps.. i can feel my back muscles.. i could feel my form.. and i wasn't floating around that much from the poundage of my bow..

Got the opportunity to have a teacher-student talk with esther.. telling her why i reacted that way.. and that she must not fear me.. and also to ask her who does she want to teach her.. she has made a choice.. that's me.. So now.. it's just a matter of teacher-student telepathy.. thank u esther for understanding me.. dzaki doesn't need an explaination from me.. he has been with me for a long time to know all this..

Forgive me my students..