Weekend writeout..

Saturday..

Training time was pushed back due to the inter-con soccer competition.. So we could only go to the field supposedly at 12pm.. So.. my archery peeps and i came down early.. to play badminton.. it was originally thought of by clement.. GL wasn't at all in the mood.. so i played with shwajuan.. we played and played.. just hitting strokes around.. Then for some reason.. shwajuan said that my legs were too skinny.. And i was like "Wtf..?!?!".. We laughed.. to add further humourous insult.. Every hit that she made she went "Hafiz.. eat more".. LoL..!! Ahahahahhahaha... well.. we played until some ppl arrived who had that court booked.. and clem who came late was carrying his racket down when he had to go back up again.. ahahahhahahahaha...

Then me and adelia (who supposedly didn't know that training time was pushed back).. went down to the soccer court to watch esther in her camp.. Gosh..!! guess esther really cannot see without her glasses.. Coz both of us were like waving frantically and jumping up and down at her and she didn't even see us.. we were like .. -.-".. Anyways.. the soccer com ended earlier so we took the field.. Albert came down to shoot with us.. coz he's out from the national team so he's back to shooting with us.. And it is really damn great to have a national archer shoot with us.. Helix and X10s..!! Ahhhh...!!! 50lbs..!! Ahhh..!! he's shooting is damn good lorr.. at 30m and 50m.. it's all in the yellow..!! so good..!! i wanna be like him..!! i didn't train much today.. i had to go up to the clubhouse like 4 and a half times consecutively.. i was like "wtf..?!?! 4 times".. the half was realising that i didn't take the key and went down again to make it 5 but met ee yang halfway who had the key..

went back down.. set up both esther's and dzaki's training bows.. watched them shoot.. then we had leonard's birthday party.. sang song.. give present.. the new easton logo plats.. then me and dzaki along with GL and yazid went to have lunch.. looks like GL had a change of mood and is now more "high".. Went back down.. to find connie teaching esther.. she handed back esther over to me.. but.. there were some other ppl like poking their bloody nose into other ppl's business.. dowan to say name.. but some of u should know who.. and these ppl busybody only come and teach my student.. i was annoyed and frustrated.. they're seniors and i have no right to push them away.. but then.. it's like totally disregarding that esther is my student and i'm teaching her.. the frustration build up in me.. coz they taught in a different way.. and everytime they taught her.. i felt like crap.. i'll be like "Who's her teacher..?? Me or U..??".. and everytime they taught her.. she moved further and further away from wat i planned for her.. it was really frustrating.. i was angry.. and everytime i taught her.. they corrected me.. and when she followed their teachings.. she gets hurt in the process.. the bowstring will slap her arm.. and she almost cried from the pain.. but i was there to comfort her.. and it really hurts me to see a girl in a pain.. it really hurt me alot, esp when she's my student, my responsibility..

I couldn't take the shit anymore.. I was fuming with the flames of anger.. never have i felt such anger in a long time.. it was affecting me.. both myself and my shooting.. i shot like crap.. i had to let it all out.. so when i was done with my shooting.. i turned around.. put down my bow.. and yelled at the top of my lungs.. i shocked almost everyone.. even esther.. and dzaki as well.. i just retrieved my arrows and drank.. hoping the cold drink might cool me down.. but no.. these clowns were still messing with my student.. i couldn't take it.. i just took the cup and kicked it in the air.. turned around.. punched a pillar then stormed off.. leaving dzaki, rayson, esther and shwajuan, who was constantly saying "Hafiz.. don't do this..", awestruck.. i just sat down in front of the sports hall toilet.. sat there thinking.. calming my anger.. the furox within myself.. guess i can never fully let go of my past..

after about half an hour i came back.. and TC held a meeting with the top 8.. but mr bananaboy barged into the meeting acting cool with his handphone to his ear and drinking a can of milo.. And damn was he rude.. chinyan was like saying "excuse me, can u leave.." And his reply was "what? why must i leave..".. and calming the anger that i just let lose just a few minutes ago.. i calmly told him that this was a meeting for the assigned people.. then his reply was "wat assigned ppl..??".. the tone of his voice was damn rude and 10 pairs of eyes were glaring at him.. with the reply he gave.. i said in a commanding voice.. "This meeting is for the top 8.. why don't u take a walk..?!?!".. "chey.. i thought wat.." was his reply.. Oh gosh bananaboy.. u just broke the ice of the champion.. so the meeting ended on a sour note.. with everyone equally pissed at bananaboy..

well.. with the dilemma that i was in.. i moved dzaki and esther to another board.. to move them away from those ppl.. those "outside interferences".. but these OI still came over.. i was losing it.. i was getting ready to punch.. but not the wall this time.. some flesh and bone.. but then i saw the look on esther's face.. the look of fear.. she feared me today.. and that pure innocence put out the flames of anger in me.. so i just left her with them for a moment while i isolate myself from the source of my anger.. and went to shoot 30m.. And guess wat.. Bananaboy tried to teach me..!! before he could finish i stormed off to retrieve my arrows.. i was like "WTF..??!! U..?? Teach me..??!!...".. i was freaking out.. i kept on spewing crap about him.. and shravan, rachel, christine and kailin really thought i was losing it.. heck i was losing it.. I'm not trying to brag.. but it's like wat the fuck.. a guy his standards.. trying to correct me..?!?! He is like so damn low.. ranked 13th and he wants to teach the champion..?!?! Goddamn.. bananaboy.. u just crossed the line..

Sunday..

my shooting improved.. of course without all the sources of anger around me.. and i learned from rachel a new stance that really helps.. i can feel my back muscles.. i could feel my form.. and i wasn't floating around that much from the poundage of my bow..

Got the opportunity to have a teacher-student talk with esther.. telling her why i reacted that way.. and that she must not fear me.. and also to ask her who does she want to teach her.. she has made a choice.. that's me.. So now.. it's just a matter of teacher-student telepathy.. thank u esther for understanding me.. dzaki doesn't need an explaination from me.. he has been with me for a long time to know all this..

Forgive me my students..