What started out to be a screwed up day with a multitude of tasks that were highly unnecessary and an interview for something that's like "you're confirmed in even if you don't want to be" course turned out to be a rather subtle blast for me.

On this day of days, a day that happens once every year, on my birthday.
An avalanche, a literal avalanche of birthday wishes from my friends out there filling up my facebook page and flooding my handphone inbox. It doesn't seem like much but the impact of messages really really made my day.. I was literally swelling with happiness at the sight of seeing so many emails and notifications.. I must be a real well-liked person to receive so many..

I would like to wish a BIG thank you to all my friends out there who made the effort to wish me.. and for that i would honour that effort by individually replying to all your wishes..


that aside..

i have finally made the decision to re-start paintball.. it's like life's telling me to go back to it. Invites from friends to go for a paintball session, affordable paintball passes and the like. That I need it to channel away all my aggression, all my frustrations and paintball is the way to go.. I'll be back real soon.. I miss the friends I made back in Red Dynasty. And the many things i learnt there and also to mention the really crazy and fun times I had.

Lucky Yazid's playing.. at least i got a real close friend playing it too. then can go back and play together..

Archery's not out.. i will always shoot.. Archery on saturdays as per normal and the occasional paintball skirmish on sundays.. yeah, that'll be great..

Closer to Restricted age..

I have many thoughts to rant about. To get it all out of my mind and penned down here so i can organize my thoughts. But I just don't know how and where to start.

Everything's simply just - random.

Random thoughts popping up linking to practical thoughts, practical things that i have left hanging, cast aside to be pondered on for a later moment. These random thoughts reminding me that these things have yet to be solved and they're still waiting for my actions.

But with a multitude of new things emerging, how do i solve those earlier perplexing situations..?

I need time. But my time is running out - fast. I need time to settle down, put down this bag of coiling predicaments and lay them all straight.

It's just amusing in a bewildering way. Why does life keep on throwing us with a magnitutde of events and things that it knows that our own mortal minds cannot comprehend? Is it a test of our resolve and patience? A test of our mental strength?

I want to do so many things in so little time. Not to mention the monetary costs involved. I want to meet so many people, so many of my friends that i haven't seen in such a long time. But i have so little time to accomodate for all of them.

For all the things I have been doing and have done, nothing seems to be satisfying.

I've just come to realise that these type of conflicting thoughts always turn up during this time of the year. The time where i reflect back - What have I done for the past years that's really meaningful?


What have I done with my life?

Joy and relief for me..!!!

The stay-out quarantine period is finally over.!! I get to stay-in on the island. No more 2 hour long journeys, no more waking up at 430am, no more reaching home mentally tired..

No More..!! No More..!!!

Ok.

Life as an SME instructor is ramping up slowly.. JC visit last week, had to parade myself as a "model".. Camo on, with weapon, full battle order.. in front of a whole audience.. it was kinda cool.. especially the part where i get surrounded by girls.. XD.
there were a number of cute and hot girls present.. great eyecandy for me.. sad that it's only eyecandy.. how bout they like write their hp number on a piece of paper and slip it into my hand kinda thing..?? how bout that..?? that would be nice.. sadly it's just a fantasy.. Hah..!! This week would be poly students.. even better.. they come in, you know, ehem, "nice" clothes.. HAH..!!

Only recently I've acquired somewhat of a new hobby/pastime.. something to, well - pass time.. it started with my current buddy halifi suggesting that we go fishing during our nights off since we got nothing much to do and that we live on the other side of mainland singapore.. and yeah.. the new hobby is fishing.. it doesn't look like much but it really is fun.. especially the part where you "fight" with the fish as u reel it in.. applying the right amount of tension on the line, reeling in slow or fast to "play" with the fish.. and finally the time where you pull the fish out of the water and get the satisfaction of knowing what you were "battling" with and the reward of a catch..

I've done some fishing before earlier in my life but I've never learnt how to actually fish.. and it was through halifi that i learnt some new things about fishing especially what i learnt just now was how to cast the line.. LOL!!

Ya.. i don't know how to cast a line.. but i've learnt it now.. bought a cheap set of rod and reel and i'm all set..

In case most of you are wondering how i actually posted up this entry since i'm in camp is because tekong now has wireless intranet and we specialists are given a small laptop each. that's how i'm posting this up..

on the otherside of things.. I know that I've been a good friend to most.. always providing a listening ear.. always lending a helping hand.. always giving advice.. but i have almost always been approached when i'm physically around.. Like.. 'Oh hafiz is here, i'll ask him for help' kinda thing..

But I never knew that I really matter most to some.. that some friends would actually call for help and advice in the most dire of times.. and i'm actually quite surprised yet strangely honoured to be called..

To that particular friend.. I'm real honoured to be called by you even though it was in the dead of night.. your problem is not unfamiliar to me and it will be hard going through it and letting it pass.. I've been through it before, it wasn't easy, it never is.. but time is the best healer of a broken heart..

To that particular friend.. thank you for calling me.. You will be alright.. Stay strong.. I will always be there for you.. as i've always been for all my friends..

Life's getting pretty mundane when every day's short and tiring..

I'm on medical quarantine from Tekong, so i cannot stay in on the island for an extended period of 8 weeks.. from 6 weeks it became 8..

sucks

it sucks coz it's an hour train ride from pioneer to pasir ris and then another approx 20-30min bus ride to SAF ferry terminal.. the transport fare's the worse.. and there's the 15minute ferry ride to the island itself.. that's 2 hours to get to tekong..
And to have 2 rides of such a magnitude back and forth every day for 5 days in a week.. it takes a heavy toll on my physical being.. it is very tiring.. especially on the way back after a day's work on the island.. and being in uniform i have to give up my seat on the train.. it is very tiring.. and the travel time cuts short the time i have to do other things..

I'm in bed by 9pm as i have to wake up at 430am and leave the house by 515am.. the past week has been the same.. i was fortunate enough to have a week of leave since the SME team has got nothing much to do..

i have one more week left of staying out.. can't wait to stay in.. i can go about making plans to maintain or even improve my fitness.. and i can sleep well.. rest well.. no more energy draining rides..

okay.. melancholy aside..

the one week leave was spent mainly in the gym.. long time since i gymed.. a wednesday of archery..

a thursday evening out with my lovelies.. lol.. just had a simple catch-up dinner with my sweetie jie ying, christine, dear chinyan and of course my sayang shwajuan.. had dinner at secret recipe plaza singapura.. though it was just a short moment.. i believe the time spent in each other's company was good enough to satiate the feeling of missing each other and also to relive the feeling of "the good old days"..
It was a nice time spent with each other.. looking forward to another occasion -- with more people the next time..

NUS indoor on the weekend.. been a long time since i went to a competition to spectate.. it's great yet weird feeling.. a sad, familiar feeling.. a constant reminder why i went through this sabbatical and i should up the ante on it..

anyways.. i was there to actually watch geraldine.. unbeknownst to most.. i have been providing personal coaching to geraldine.. so i was there to support her.. she did pretty well in the individual rankings.. she placed 7th i think.. but they got top ranked team.. so for the team event for both institutional and NUS challenge.. geraldine got 2 Gold Medals.. hope that's the start for more medals.. proud of her i should say..


but kinda sad too........




i think that's all for now..
next week..
ATP..
marksmanship badge here i come..