End of BSLC..

as per all before me..
the '28km' route march..
started with a National Education Lesson at Kranji War Memorial followed by a wreath-laying ceremony then the actual march.
Golf company was the second company to go..
Freaking long walk.. the first checkpoint at kranji dam took a hell of a long time to reach.. but the sea breeze at the dam was refreshing and nice.. the journey to the second checkpoint was a different kind of walking hell.. it was longer.. we were told that it's about 6km.. but in actual fact.. it's about 8km.. the journey there was filled with walking by oriental fish farms that were guarded by super big dogs that barked and growled at us when we walked by.. From normal mongrels, wolf-like german shepherds,fierce rottweilers, labradors and tall great danes.. very interesting indeed.. it's like a walk through the zoo but the zoo is just filled with all kinds of dogs..

Honestly, i don't mind the heavy load on my back with my shoulders screaming in pain, i can just trudge on step by step. it's like any other route march that i have done.. the mantra would be "just walk.. just walk.." but this is the first time i've ever marched thru the night.. we started at 9pm and finish at 5am.. it's just the sleep that i can't fight off.. often i walked like a zombie.. slowly drifting out of line and forcing myself to get back in line or i get the occasional thrust in the back of the knee when i zombie inwards by my buddy's rifle.. there were some places were it was so dark.. the eerie glow of the blue light stick on the back of my officers were the only things guiding the way.. and the eerie blue of it made everything else blurry and sleepy..

when it comes down to route marches.. i can just walk it through.. but when it involves fighting sleep.. then it's a challenge..

finished the graduation route march labelled at 28km but the actual distance was 32km.. confirmed by our CWO who walked behind us..

the next 2 days was filled with admin stuff and dekitting of the store items.. then the final day of the week.. passing out parade and posting order..

Not surprising.. i got to ASLC.. at charlie company..
kinda sad to leave golf.. all the hardship and strict regimentation at golf will be missed.. when i reported to charlie on the same day.. i was in for a culture shock.. so it's true wat the seniors and the faculty team say about each company having it's own culture.. it will take some time to get used to charlie's ways.. what i can only think of is to bring golf's culture to charlie..

well.. being in ASLC.. i still have yet to know my vocation.. being in ASLC.. there's only 2 vocations.. Infantry and Guards..
which one will i get..? i dunno.. but nonetheless either one will be tough in it's own way.. all i can say is "whatever comes.. just do.."

Infantry would be the norm since we've been training as infantrymen since the start.. if i go to guards.. then it'll be a real eye-opener.. till then.. no stress..

a long long break in NS-terms till the next book in date..

to all my chinese friends.. Happy Lunar New Year..
to all my romantic, in-love, not-in-love, melancholic( XD ) friends, both single and attached.. Happy Valentine's Day..

Monday to Thursday morning..

Exercise Wanderer on Monday.. literally wandered all around tekong from north west to north east to south east to south west.. quite fun exercise.. get to know the people in my detail much better..

Exercise Grandslam from tuesday to thursday.. shellscrape digging and section battle course.. OCS cadets were around too so we clashed numerous times.. but it was great to meet my BMT mates that are in OCS now.. main highlight.. a damn big wild boar ransacked tan sean's field pack for food and his shellscrape is just like 3m away from mine and i was changing my underwear when jonovan discovered the boar and i ran out barefooted to hanhui's shellscrape.. LOL..



Thursday to Friday..

I could say that it's one of the most saddest time of my life.. I've never felt so much anger, betrayal and sadness.. It's so sad..

It's so sad to the point that i woke up on Friday morning and the first thing that clearly came to my mind was " I Hate This World " and i whispered it under my breath.. it's really sad.. as i sat up by the side of my bed, i paused there as I let the reality of what i just said sink in..

As i joined the elite few of my company that passed SOC and got at least an IPPT silver or gold for our 3km morning run in skeletal battle order with rifle, there was no mood to sing any song, no mood to give a shit for whatever i was doing.. I had no mood at all.. But i had no choice, i had to run it.. Led by my OC himself..

I can tell you, the run was way much tiring than SOC itself and it can be supported by the exhausted, drained up look of my OC as he sat by the chinup bars with his shirt off and him panting after the run..

But i ran through it all the way.. so many people fell out and just walked but i continued to run.. driven by a fervor i never realised i had it in me.. it was not like the kind of thing that i'd like.. but i ran with the fervor of hatred.. i was still burning with the fire of hating this world.. and i cried.. amidst the dripping sweat off my brow.. tears flowed from my eyes and my face grimaced in sadness.. but no one saw it.. coz the tears were integrated with my sweat and everyone was occupied with their own running and exhaustion..

i felt a little bit better.. but still overall sad.. i didn't let my bunkmates nor my buddy know about it.. i can't show it to them.. they all look up to me.. it will be a real letdown to them if they knew how disappointed i was and how i let such a matter affect me..

i'm still disappointed though.. and trying hard to set it aside..

it hurts the most when you've given your best in all things that you do and you don't get the reward for it.. i mean it's like i've put in my best, the results show it but why? why?

sometimes i don't understand..

i'll just have to wait until after CNY to know..