Melancholic Rhetoric

Monday, April 18, 2011

Heartbreakers Singapore Paintball Series 2011 Novice Category (Division 4) Runner's Up.


Epic epic weekend.

The past weekend was the Singapore Paintball Series 2011 Leg 1 held at Jurong Central Park. Being in Jurong, and this close to where I stay. It was rather like a home event.

Saturday was qualifying rounds. So we had 5 matches to play. The first against our arch-rivals and also defending champions Rampage Onslaught. We lost that one. in total for saturday we won 3 games and lost 2. Really really compromising our run for the crown.

It was do or die on Sunday. We had a remaining 3 qualifying games to go thru. We won 1. Lost 1 and drew 1. So our chances of making it to the quaterfinal bracket was really like sitting on the edge of a cliff.

And we made it. By a point difference of one. We made it thru to the quaterfinal bracket with the last ranking, 8th. Our quaterfinal bracket consisted of (again) Rampage, Lunatics and Explicit. All teams that we've met in the qualifying round. In the qualifying round we lost to lunatics too.

We could only manage one loss and 2 wins to make it thru to the semifinals. The one loss would have to only come from rampage. But we lost our first quaterfinal game against lunatics again. Kenny was already doubting our chances. To him, it was like a repeat of the past SPS. The past SPS, The Heartbreakers didn't manage to go thru past the quaterfinals. We won our next game against Explicit. And we were left with our last quaterfinal game against rampage. And guess wat. We won that.

It was a major uplift for the team. I could clearly see that the win against Rampage meant alot to my team. We now had to wait and hope that explicit could beat lunatics for us to go thru to the semi-finals. And guess what.. That happened and The Heartbreakers stepped into a region they've never been in before. The Semi-finals.

We were up against Team ACES who were ranked overall 2nd. Semi-final onwards, all the games were played best of 3. Since we're in unchartered territory. Kenny was like telling us to "give our best" kinda motivation. We lost our first game. That was a real hammer blow to the team. But somehow. I just had to put it some never say die attitude to the team. Hell. If we're gonna lose. We're gonna do it with style. And in the 2nd game, We won. Bringing it to a 1-1. Putting us straight into the 3rd game to win it.

We brought the same mentality and heart into the last game and we won it..!! Cementing our place in the Final..!! Guess Team ACES wasn't prepared for what we were throwing at them. The revitalised effort that we threw at them was kinda shocking..

We were thru into the Finals against Rampage Onslaught, the defending champions.
Everyone was rooting for us. Our closest team, Contract Killers was rooting for us, after they clinched 4th in the Open Division. The Staff of Red Dynasty were in full support for us too.

This was it. A chance at being champions. Finals of the SPS 2011 Leg 1. My first ever paintball tournament and I'm already into the Final. I've never achieved such heights in archery or soccer. This was a first for me. And i wanted it so badly. Really really wanted it.

We lost the first game. But not after i put on a prolonged fight from the back centre, in the home bunker. The rest of my team were already eliminated. And i was the only one left alive against 4 others. I put up such a fight with so much heart. I took out 2 guys while at it. Switching sides. And gunfighting. I was holding it down for quite some time. But i was eventually bunkered out. We were demoralised.

But BBen came over to us while we were waiting for our 2nd game. Guess he really really wanted us to win too. He gave us such a inspiring motivational speech. It was so inspiring that we won the 2nd game with 5 man alive.

That brought it level. It was a real do or die moment. It was gonna be a fairytale ending for me.

My return to paintball.

My first paintball tournament.

Now I'm in the finals. So close to getting it.

And it all came crashing down as fast as the 10second countdown. A dubious call by a certain "infamous" referee.. that pulled a penalty on us. My instantaneous fill in was also penalised. And my whole fairytale ending came crashing down like a meteor. I was real upset and distraught. Even if we had to go lose. It wasn't like this. Not like this.

I just crouched there in the deadbox. Head held low. My teammates standing around me. Yazid was already consoling me. I could hear Rampage clearing the field. Literally lighting up the home bunker. Guess they lost their G-count and were afraid of a repeat of the fight I put up against them from the last point that they took.

Game Over. It was all over as well. I picked up the pods that I used. And walked around the field to shake the referees hands.. Contract Killers-SG were shouting "HEARTBREAKERS!!!", and the rest of the crowd were cheering for us.. And I instantaneously broke down. I was crying behind my mask. Dismantled my rotor from the marker. Passed it to Damian. Shook his hand. I could see that he was also sad with our loss. Sofie gave me a pat on my back. He was from Rampage but still he's my friend. It just had to be that our players' area was right next to rampage's..

I just sat down and wept. All my teammates were consoling me. it was a real heartbreak for me..

A heartbreak for a Heartbreaker..


The championship slipped thru our fingers. It felt like I let everyone down.

It took some time for me to console and compose myself.

It really helped that Yazid, Derek and Greg as well as many others were there to console and told me it was alright, and that we're gonna get it the next time.

after that it was prize presentation.

after we cleaned up. Some of us went to jurong point KFC for dinner together with Fuzz. Talked about the events of the weekend.

So many will ask why does any of this even matter?

It matters because of all that you put into it.

It matters because that plastic trophy represents a nearly unquantifiable collection of hours spent practicing, getting shot, arguing with each other, and waking up early despite the previous day's physical toll for the chance that everything can crystallize into something tangible.

And it matters because it's hard.

It matters so much that even after a crushing defeat. Making it all the way to the doorstep of your dream, only to see everything that you've worked for smashed to pieces.

And you're gonna come back and do it all over again..

Heartbreakers SPS 2011 Novice Category (Division 4) Runner's Up.


I'm definitely gonna build up on this.

Now i know where i stand amongst others.

After the events of the past weekend.
Everyone will remember The Heartbreakers.


And everyone will know my name..


Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Why do you have to appear in my dreams when my mind and body are at it's weakest..?

Why do you have to appear in my dreams when i was never thinking of you at all..?

Why do you appear at all..?

I haven't been thinking bout you. Lots of things occupying my mind now. Paintball, the army, my return to archery, my future after army.

Why do you have to appear?

Why do you always have to appear when i'm on the verge of completely forgetting bout you..?

Is there something behind it..?