hmm...

where do i begin.. i long for myself to write a super long entry.. even some of readers have started to complain abt my irregular posts.. kekekeke..

hmm.. lemme see..

archery.. well.. i wasn't selected for NUS.. a real blow to me.. and i wanted so badly to go.. if i only i didn't screw it all up.. oh well.. wat has been done.. has been done.. and i promised wymer and vanessa to be at NUS.. well.. i just said i'll be there.. being there doesn't mean i have to compete.. but i really wanted to compete.. i'm sorry wymer.. i'm sorry vanessa.. i tried my best.. and failed.. but i'll be at NUS.. to support u guys as well as my peeps.. looks like i have to look forward to the next compy.. whenever that may be..

and upon knowing that that year 1 samuel is sent for the compy in place of clement when samuel never attended the second trial really demoralised me.. and when shaun told me abt it.. i could feel my heart constrict.. it's like a knife lodged itself in my beating hear.. it's like some sort of betrayal.. the least that could be done was to ask the other competitors who DID attend the 2nd trial whether they would want to take part in the compy.. that's the least that could be done.. i feel so betrayed.. damnit.. fuck it.. and yes.. i said it.. fuck it.. FUCK IT..!! and why the fuck did i put so much effort in training and participating in the 2nd trial when someone who never participated in the 2nd one gets chosen instead..!! why the fuck is that..?!?! is this wat the club calls fair..?? IS IT..?!?! it's the same sort of unfairness that prompted me to defect from the club.. yes.. i admit it.. i once had this sick thought of quitting and defecting from the club to join another.. but i changed my mind when i saw in perspective how thru this club i am wat i am today.. unfairness.. if it's the way things are run in the club.. so be it.. retribution would be swift and hard.. and strike the hardest on those in most guilt and wrong.. retribution.. when unjust actions are carried out most willingly and without repent.. then those unjustly acted upon curse those who do so upon them.. and divine retribution would be swift.. and the only thing that would reverse such hatred and vengeance would be forgiveness.. a forgiveness that may never be given..

damnit.. i am a person who doesn't believe in exacting vengeance.. but i am powerless against retribution which comes in accordance to the unjust and bad things that ppl have done over others..

haiz.. let's put the bad things aside.. now the good things..
=)

somehow.. i've gotten closer with shaun.. the ex-national youth archer.. it started out with me asking him for his opinion on navigators.. then it continued with me wanting to shoot alongside him on the same board.. then now.. it's close to the extend that he's been teaching me and i've changed my form abit.. he didn't actually teach that much.. he just gave me advice and showed me a new technique.. and now.. my form looks almost that of his.. really.. it's a nice technique that he taught me.. really nice feeling to it.. and i caught the concept behind it very fast.. like shaun would put it.. " Only teach for 15 minutes and u already changed.. " .. and yes.. it tool only 15 minutes for me to catch the concept behind the technique that he taught.. wouldn't want to explain the technique here.. if u do want.. ask me.. i have it all written down in great detail in my logbook..

great and nice things have been going on as of late.. and love every single moment of it.. i am greatful.. i am greatful.. patience will see me thru.. it always does..

all the best for those taking MSTs..!! =)
jiayou..!! u guys can do it..!!