Deathly sick..

*sniff*..

*cough cough cough*..

*HHAAAA---CHOOOO...!!!!!*

*sniff*.. yeah.. i'm deathly sick.. a rasping cough.. runny nose.. fever.. teary eyes.. *sniff*.. damn it.. so sick..

why am i always falling sick so easily..?? weak..?? yes.. i guess.. but in a different way.. it is said in my religion.. that when a person is sick.. God is forgiving him of his sins.. and i believe.. God is forgiving my sins.. He has put me into this weak state for me to remember Him.. this weak, helpless painful state.. He wants me to remember Him.. He wants me back.. There was once.. my life was great.. i prayed to Him all the time.. i was happy.. i thanked Him everytime i prayed to Him for the happiness that He put in my life.. i was undisturbed by problems.. i was clean.. i was happy..

Until..

Until.. He tested me.. He tested my strength and faith.. He plunged me into a life of misery and sorrow.. He tested me.. And i failed it.. i began to lose faith in Him.. i hated Him for the misery and sorrow that he poured into my life.. i hated Him for i was his faithful believer and i was happy and He had to end it all.. it was a test from Him and I failed it.. I failed it.. i failed myself.. i failed Him.. I reluctantly prayed to Him.. Ever so confused on why He had to put me thru this misery.. I lost trust in Him.. i admit it.. i lost trust in Him.. i admit it.. I lost faith in Him..

But now.. seeing that i've changed for the better.. and my heart is willing to accept guidance once more.. He has taken this opportunity to tell me that He wants me back.. And i will come back.. I will the ever praying, ever faithful believer.. He wants me back.. and i will return myself to my pious state as i was before..

I will return to Him..