grateful for the events and things that have happened over the short span of the past 2 days..

and so.. i talked to yazid yesterday.. not in person.. on msn.. told him the problems i'm having with archery.. gave advice he did.. i need the advice and confidence.. ppl whom i have most trust, faith and motivation are leaving soon.. very soon.. and i have to make most of the times spent together as the clock ticks on.. guolong and yazid.. and especially guolong.. my teacher.. my coach.. he never did teach me much and he knows and i know that i can do it by myself.. furthermore.. he needs the time to spend more time with chinyan, shimin and shwajuan.. afterall.. they are his students as well.. and i needed him only when i needed help.. and made most of the times that he actually stood by me to watch me shoot.. yazid.. he's the one teaching me the mental stuff about archery.. the confidence.. the "fuck it, just shoot" attitude.. yeah.. they really have made a great impact in my life in archery.. and they're going off soon to serve the country.. my motivation and guidance are from them.. and very thankful of it.. thanks guys..

and so.. yazid's evaluation on my performance:- i've most certainly worked hard at training my physique and form.. but one things for sure.. he knows.. and i know.. that my mentality is weak.. i'm weak.. thinking so much ain't good for me.. worrying abt this.. worrying abt that.. worrying.. it ain't doing nothing much about my shooting except for making it even worse.. my job is to shoot.. shoot.. not think.. shoot..

and so.. as the days pass.. and my form gets ever solid (the darn release..!!).. actually.. my form IS solid.. it's just the mentality that ruins it.. all of it.. it's my mind.. my mind..!! aarrgghh..!!

phaze : Yo hafiz.. chill man.. chill..
hafiz : Okay.. okay.. chilling.. chilling..

u know wat i think..

hafiz : wait.. i'm not suppose to think.. but in this context.. i think i can think..
phaze : wat the..?! 0.0..
hafiz : ahahahahhah.. shit..

ok.. u know wat i think..

phaze : stop thinking lahh..!!
hafiz : okok..

this is wat i've planned out.. u know wat i

phaze : ahh..!! don't say think..!!

Okay.. okay.. u know wat.. i really really want an IVP jacket.. yes.. that windbreaker with the SP logo on the left breast and the words "SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC" emblazoned on the back.. i want it.. I WANT IT..!! so.. i plan that when i do get it.. if i ever get it.. i'm gonna stop participating in competitions.. and train up my form.. train my shot executions and mindset.. train till it becomes second nature.. like writing.. it becomes one with me.. train.. and train.. and train.. but from the looks of things right now.. i don't really care much if i get that jacket.. i mean.. wat's that jacket's worth..??

phaze : it's worth everything..!!

ahahhaha.. ok.. it does have worth to me.. but as for now.. the thought of owning one isn't doing that much good for myself and my shooting performance.. if i do qualify for NUS indoor.. and the jacket comes with it.. then that's good.. coz i don't care about my performance in it.. i just want to get over with it.. then concentrate on my intensive training.. then halfway thru.. i know i'm gonna get my carbon arrows.. and then i switch to them.. do the much essential fine microtuning.. and continue with my intensive training.. then.. i believe.. by november.. i would be ready for anything and everything..


anything and everything..