Melancholic Rhetoric

Weekend writeout..

Saturday..

I came down rather early for training.. reached school at about 840am.. as usual.. no one at the club yet.. so i just sat down there on the black table.. listening to songs on my borrowed mp3 player.. well.. dunno whether to call it borrowed or not.. coz my young aunt just thrust it to me and asked for me to put all my songs in 'em.. so in the meantime i can use it until i meet her.. well.. just sitting down there in the total darkness.. all alone.. thoughts just crept into my mind.. thoughts about tmr.. Aidil Adha.. many of my relatives and my family friends are in Mecca right now.. going thru the pilgrimage in the holy land.. just the sight of a single photograph and the descriptions made by grandmother.. wow.. it really must be a lovely place..

A place where every single muslim are equal.. Judged neither by race or political status.. all donning the white robes.. equality among the muslim brothers.. a pilgrimage as they go thru the rites of the Hajj righting wrongs, cleansing sins.. what a moment.. the closest one can get to God.. in pure humility.. it just brought tears to me as i sat there thinking about it.. one day i'll go there.. I will go there.. by God's will i will go there..

And as usual.. GL was the next person to come.. so as usual.. i sat by him as he set up his bow.. there was just pure silence.. a student.. watching his teacher fixing up his bow.. the silence was broken with the arrival of other archers.. And guess wat GL said to me.. "Hafiz.. U look older.." --_--".. out of the blue comment.. and he hasn't seen me for like only a week.. i must've really look more matured and older.. must have..

training was rather different from the usual days.. i was damn quiet.. i was trying out some new form techniques.. i was isolating myself from the others.. even my close friends.. i dunno.. every time i as done shooting and waited for the others.. i just stood there staring at the target paper at 30m.. just staring.. i thinking.. thinking of the many sins that i have done throughout my life and wat tmr will bring.. an opportunity for my sins to be forgiven.. i dunno why.. but tears suddenly start flowing.. i wasn't sad.. just extremely grateful that i'm still alive and God is giving me many opportunities for me to correct my sins and change my life around.. I really am grateful.. even on the firing line.. while at full draw.. tears just flowed out.. it was an involuntary action.. it just flowed out.. must be the intense mental concentration and blocking out everything.. feeling nothing.. thinking nothing.. and it just flowed involuntarily.. and i was trying my best to hide my tears from my friends.. i was deadly quiet..

the silence was ultimately broken when SJ asked me why i was so quiet.. So i had to tell her.. then it was lunch.. talked about ghosts.. i was back to my normal smiling self.. but was rather patient, relaxed, contented..

my shooting improved as i got used to the new changes.. got back to my average scoring streak.. rather low.. but great improvement.. well.. today really proves that archery is a patient sport.. i need to slow down and take things with less energy.. archery is not soccer.. archery is more mental.. in soccer i can correct my wrongs by doing tricks, running faster, hitting the ball harder.. in archery.. i have to divide that energy into the intricate steps of my shot sequence.. it takes patience to put that brimming energy to rest..

Sunday..

Hari raya Haji.. as usual.. picked up ahmad. (the GESS one, the crazier one).. went to darussalam.. well.. my organisation had theirs outside by the field.. but darussalam mosque started earlier so me and ahamd went to watch as they did the rodeo.. and there was one time where both of us saw something.. a male sheep was trying to mate..!! wth..!! it was doing does pelvic thrusts thingy.. going to die still want to copulate..!!! me and ahmad were laughing like crazy.. it got smacked as the rodeo guys saw wat the sheep was trying to do..

ours was rather different.. we had goats and sheeps.. Goats.. i just hate goats.. they have nasty horns.. put up a big struggle.. their bleats sound damn human.. and they have the guts to jump out of the pen.. well.. i was enthusiastically waiting for my turn. so i went up to my representative and asked him.. "ehh.. when's out turn...??" his reply was.. "go in.. i want a big sheep." --.--" so fast.. i haven't got my sandals removed yet.. so i went in there.. stepping on the shit with my beloved sandals.. got a medium sized sheep out.. my grandfather did the slitting..

So it was a cycle.. rodeo.. on the slaughtering palate.. hold it down as the knife slit's it's throat.. bringing it over to an area where it would drain the remaining blood in the body.. i call this phase "The Last Dance".. coz the dead animal would spasm as the blood drains from it's body.. it's dead.. but it's moving around like it's dancing.. and since it's dead.. it's the last time it moves.. hence the name.. "The Last Dance"..

well.. it was a day to go down in history.. 2 goats jumped out of the pen.. the first one jumped right into the group of rodeo-ers.. so it was caught instantaneously.. it jumped right next to me.. but i wasn't paying attention to it.. i was paying attention to what was happening IN the pen.. the other goats were watching the incident.. and knowing how smart the goats were.. i took a pre-caution.. i knew something extraordinary was going to happen.. so i kept my phone in my back pocket and zipped it up.. then.. it happened..

A goat jumped out.. it jumped out away from the rodeo-ers and into the crowd of onlookers.. the small children and the teenage girls screamed.. i gave a wry smile.. and was the first to react.. as i sprinted after the already running away goat.. behind me were ahmad, adam and taufik.. but i was the closest to the goat.. i could almost reach it.. just a palm away.. dam.. i could have got it at the field.. but it was too fast for me.. my friends instantaneously went panchet.. deflated.. as i continued running after that damned goat.. ahmad was by my side as both of us navigated around walls and pillars as we attempted to get as close as possibel to the goat.. heh.. only both of us were on the heel of the runaway goat.. the others already pancheted and were taking slow jogs.. ahmad n me passed by coffeeshops where the ahpeks and uncles there were like so shocked to see a goat literally stood up from their seats.. we crossed main roads.. stopped traffic.. where some impatient drivers honked non-stop at us and only stopped and slowed down as they saw the goat.. we passed by many carparks.. playgrounds.. basketball courts.. and the public were helpful in pointing, shouting to us the direction of the goat.. some were even shocked as they've never seen a runaway goat before and could only point in the direction of the goat speechless.. the chase went on.. damn.. my ass was starting to hurt.. but strangely.. i wasn't at all tired.. must be the adrenaline.. i ran on and on.. driven by an unknown resolve.. finally.. the goat gave up running.. it was hiding behind a tree.. panting.. i asked for the help of a nearby uncle who along with me and ahmad herded the goat into a tight triangle.. it then saw a gap in the formation and jumped into a drain.. phew.. finally.. the chase was over.. the instant thing that we did was to sit down and catch our breaths.. we left the animal there as the rest of my friends caught up with us.. damn.. we really ran damned far.. clementi ave 4 to clementi ave 2.. sialla damn far..

now the big problem.. getting the animal out.. and carrying it back to the mosque... so we hauled the animal out of the drain.. took a breather as we carried it back to the mosque.. our arrival was greeted with applause.. wow.. heroes of the day.. me and ahmad.. heroes.. rather unsung though.. no one gave us drinks. we had to get them ourselves.. oh well.. being an unsung hero is normal for me..

my victorious pose over the damned runaway goat.. notice that we are at a carpark.. my friends with their shagged faces (the teenage dudes are my friends, the small kids are just extras and we just let them touch the goat)