and so it would seem.. nothing has changed.. plunging ever deeper into sorrow and hopelessness.. will i become the shadow of my former self once again..?? i dunno.. there's this saying.. u win together but u die alone.. and it seems everyone is winning.. and i'm the only one dying.. yes.. i'm dying.. maybe i'm being too open with my philosophies and studies i have so painstakingly taken on my own and sharing them so easily with others.. it may sound selfish.. but is it fair for me to share with others a knowledge that they use to gain the upper hand over me..?? i think not..i most certainly think not.. it was stupid of me to do so.. to spoon feed ppl knowledge i have strived to gain on my own and then these ppl take advantage over me.. i will not allow this ungratefulness to happen..

i must change.. but i will not fall.. i cannot allow this to continue.. i will succumb to my former self.. i will turn into the quiet, calm being of isolation.. my lonely self once more.. already now i'm speaking in a different way.. i'm speaking like how i used to speak a long time ago.. and i kinda like it.. yes.. i must change.. i have made up my mind.. i will change.. i must put aside this dramatis persona.. and transform into the predacon i was last time.. i want to change.. i cannot allow people to leech off of me.. U can never run away from the man whom i'm destined to be.. change is imminent.. i'm sorry if u ppl don't like the change in me.. but i have to do it..

I am destined to walk this life less ordinary; Alone, Exiled, Different and Disdained..