A shattered dreams production presents:

Not only was my dream shattered. My morale and motivation as well. I never felt such a magnitude of sian-ness during a training day before. I felt so frustrated, so worn out, so empty.

I never had the will to shoot lest even set up my bow. I didn't want to have anything to do with archery. I just wanted to go home. I just accompanied chin yan to zheng hua national range to meet the others. I just sat on the bench there staring at the dark, pebbly tarmac. Staring into the ground from which my dream was derived from. The dream which drove me on. Motivated me every single training day. Encouraging me to carry on. It's gone. The dream is gone. I feel so empty.

Being at zhenghua didn't make things any better. Watching the national archers shoot, watching my friends train as they attempt for the national squad. And where am I? What am I doing? No where. Nothing.

It feels really demoralising. And I believe with it, my performance is going to hit rockbottom again. I don't know. I don't know. I just don't. I don't want my juniors to see their Team Captain all demoralised, it'll affect their performance too. They see me as their motivational figure and i cannot let them down.

I know this is gonna affect me alot. To what extent? I don't know.