The night before.. My mum planned that we visit her in hospital.. Our prayers have been answered and she's still with us until now.. But when her direct family members didn't turn up for ngaji that night.. I knew there was something wrong.. That kept me worried.. The exhaustion took me and somehow i managed to sleep..


At 347am... i received a msg from encik isa.. The inevitable had arrived... Ibuk Khanifah was no more.. Innalila wainnalilahirojiun.. Intense sorrow filled me.. I couldn't sleep.. i could feel the tears building up but none flowed out.. i was tossing and turning till subuh.. did my prayers and just sat there.. Prayed.. prayed hard i did.. prayed to ensure ibuk had place for herself in heaven and also prayed for God to give strenght to her young son, hairul.. After i was done.. i just sat there too.. memories flooded thru my mind.. memories of gatherings such as family day and such.. memories of how ibuk han was so sporting and always joking around.. And how she would ask me to take care of her son, hairul when he played wif me.. "Jager hairul baik-baik ehh.. nak..".. that's her trademark.. She has this motherly aura abt her.. She always calls children her "anak".. She always treats other children like her own children.. Esp me.. coz i'm the first grandson of my grandma who's very close to ibuk han.. I've known ibuk han all my life.. Once the memories hit me.. tears flowed.. i couldn't control myself.. I'll take care of hairul in any way that i can.. he's like a younger brother to me..


Wen my father woke up.. i told him the news.. He instantaneuosly woke my mum up... I now had a dilemma upon me.. I have a test.. yet i have to go melawat.. Alhamdulilah taufiq allowed me to switch place with him.. Thank you taufiq.. Thank you so much.. my father sent me to school.. i ran to class.. I couldn't concentrate during the test.. the sorrow's just immense.. After i was done.. i took a cab to ibuk han's place.. i was late.. The body was alrdy brought down.. prayers were read and once the command to proceed to the burial site was given.. the women broke down..


Solat mayat.. then off to the grave.. the clayey soil between my toes didn't bother me a bit.. neither did the scorching sun.. I was there to see ibuk han for the last time.. Once the soil had been layed over the grave.. prayers done.. I comforted hairul... Gave him a hug and a reassuring arm across his shoulders.. Abg shidin was the worst hit.. He didn't want to leave his mother's grave.. he just sat there my her grave.. crying.. it really was a sad sight.. Om had to comfort him and bring him away.. Only after that did i feel the heat of the sun and the icky-ness of the soil between my toes..


Hairul.. be strong my brother.. there are others like me to take care of you.. Be brave..